Odd things happen to all of us on our way through life
without our noticing for a time that they have happened.
Yes. This is truth. Odd things do happen to all of us, every few years or so, and we don't notice right away that they have happened; we only notice the oddity of the incident or event later on.
However, odd things happen to Aquarians on the average of once a day or more, and the Water Bearers never notice what happens. Why should an Aquarian notice close encounters of the first, second, third, fourth, fifth or one hundred and sixty-sixth kind as unusual in any way? To Aquarius, odd is normal.Normal is odd.
When two of them link their auric patterns in a 1-1 Sun Sign relationship in any manner - at school, in an office, at home, in a space capsule, on a Ferris Wheel, or in a rowboat - Life becomes very odd to be sure, sort of upside-down pineapple-prune cake, zircle-and-zebra, Hobbity indeed, and Mad Hatterthrough the-croquet-hoops. I will level with you. An Aquarian is as dingbatty,brilliant, genius-oriented, and patty-cake as they come. Two Aquarians together are exactly twice as dingbatty, brilliant, genius-oriented, and patty-cake as they come. Now you get the picture - the kind of picture you get when you gaze into one of those loopy mirrors in a carnival fun house. For, as I've written before, both in this book and in Sun Signs, Aquarius is the sign of genius and insanity, and it's often difficult to draw a fine line between these two virtues.You may place the entire basket of blame for this freaked-out age we're living in right on their doorsteps. Of course, if you do, they will merely walk out each morning on their way to Disneyland, leap over the basket without even noticing it, then absentmindedly proceed to go about their business. Yes, Aquarians do tend to business, they believe in TCB (taking care of business). They mind their own and they fully expect you to mind yours. And so they will leap over the basket, without even noticing it, each morning of their lives. It might be a baby someone left on their doorstep. If so, it would have to cry out loudly if it expected an Aquarian to glance down and see it. These people are forever looking skyward, to the back of their heads and to the sides, but they never look down. That's why they're so seldom aware of any particular terrain they may be trespassing across and through. You might say they see it only with peripheral vision. But somehow, these two manage to find one another. I believe they may use radar. They don't have to go into a store and buy a bottle or a carton of the stuff, mind you - they have it built into their Third Eye.
Aquarians are not to be insulted by all this, and they are not to parachute to the conclusion that I am putting them down. In fact (truthfully and sincerely) Aquarius just happens to be my personal favorite Sun Sign, next to Leo - and Aries, of course. A fine astrologer I once knew in New York called you Aquarians "the torch bearers of human dignity." (That really startled me, because how can one associate anything dignified with people who go around standing on their heads all the time? ) The very wise ancients called you "the humanitarians of the planet Earth." At least one writer has called you "the last hope for the human race." You are called "brilliant and precognitive, inventive geniuses"
by most everyone who studies astrology. And you have also aptly been called "the Leaders of the New Golden Age." Never mind all that. I call you nitzie, cuckoo, as unpredictable as a comic valentine sent to Quasimodo in the tower room of Notre Dame - with one foot in Heaven, one on Earth, your head in the clouds, and your ears fastened on the wrong way. In other words, weird. In addition, you are forever losing your contact lenses in the ice-cube tray of the refrigerator.
Aside to readers: Don't worry, Aquarians are immensely flattered by having the foregoing qualities attributed to them. Strange? Not really. You see, Capricorns feel as though you've awarded them a Nobel Prize when you tell them straight out that they're stuffy. Taurus folk swell up in pride when you tell them they're as stubborn as glue - Leos smile benignly when you level with them about their insufferable arrogance, and . . . say, you know what? Everyone is weird. I mean, but EVERYONE! It must depend on the theory of relativity or something. There are, evidently, twelve groups of us here on this spinning ball, looking at life in twelve different ways. (Do you suppose that's the tolerance lesson the Water Bearers are here to teach us? ) Of course, the only sensible and true way to look at life is the Mars-Aries way. Someday that will be proven to be indisputably correct. Meanwhile, as a Ram myself, I refuse to argue the subject further.
Many people have written to me to ask why Aquarius is an Air Sign, and yet Aquarius is symbolized by the Water Bearer. They want to know specifically how a Water Bearer can be said to belong to the Air Element. I would like to take this opportunity to answer them.
I don't know.
Why are you complaining? That's a typical Aquarian explanation. As clear as the smog over Los Angeles. Mixing up the Air and Water elements doesn't surprise me in the least, as an astrologer. And as you learn more about these off-beat, star-crossed creatures of creative confusion, it won't surprise you either. Hopefully, the knowledge of the stars and planets will stop you all from writing in to ask something so foolish as an explanation of the why of anything related to the February-born. (Some Aquarians are born in late January, but most are born during the month of the groundhog .. which figures.)
Now, just image this. Two Water Bearers have discovered one another, in the playpen, in college, on a basketball team, in a hangar at TWA, or in the audience watching Star Wars. They are reading this book together. That is, one of them (excluding the playpen tots) is reading it aloud to the other, who is wandering around the room, watering and talking to the plants (but listening). The reader stops, about here . . . turns to the Aquarian with the sprinkling can, wearing the jump suit, and says: "What in the world does this author mean? Is there something unusual about us? You have a Ph.D. in nuclear physics, I'm a brigadier general in the Salvation Army, we are clearly both intelligent, normal, unobtrusive, quiet people. This book insinuates that we are, in some way, 'queer.'Astrology can't be accurate if it implies such a thing as that, don't you agree?"
The second Aquarian stops near the African violets, contemplates carefully, in an attempt to correctly analyze the question, then gazes at the other Aquarian,with a dreamy look, and answers: "All the world is queer, save for me and thee . . . and sometimes.." (trailing off).
The first Aquarian interrupts, dreamily too: " . . . . and sometimes thou art a little freaked " (completing the quote).
"Thanks, buddy, for helping me out! I had forgotten the last line. You took the words right out of my subconscious," remarks the second Aquarian. "I'm so absentminded sometimes."
FIRST AQUARIAN: We do seem to read each other's minds a lot, don't we?Maybe we should take a course in ESP or something, so we can understand why we understand so much.
SECOND AQUARIAN: I don't think so. That wouldn't excite me. Why don't we buy a book on picking up voices of the dead, instead?There's a book called Breakthrough, published by Taplinger, or someone, that explains how we can pick up anyone's voice, living or dead, with an ordinary tape recorder.They've already found it works at several major universities.Listen, did you see what I did with my watering can?
FIRST AQUARIAN: YOU just put it in the bureau drawer. Was it empty?
SECOND AQUARIAN: Oh, my gawd! It was still half full. Just look at my sweaters! They're sopping wet.
FIRST AQUARIAN: That's my bureau drawer, and those aren't sweaters, they're my kittens.
SECOND AQUARIAN: Well, I'm so sorry . . . . but what are your kittens doing in the bureau drawer?
FIRST AQUARIAN: They always take their nap in there, because they like the smell of cedar. Don't you remember?
SECOND AQUARIAN: That's right. I had forgotten. May I borrow your blow dryer to dry them off? Poor things.
FIRST AQUARIAN: Never mind, I'll dry them. You run down to the library and get Breakthrough. You can use my bicycle. But be careful.The rear wheel is missing. Just try to avoid heavy traffic.
Do you see what I mean? The outcome of any sort of association, lasting from fifteen minutes to a couple of decades or to a lifetime, between two Aquarian individuals of any of the three or four sexes is totally unpredictable. The only thing predictable about their relationship, whatever their age, weight,height, Social Security numbers, and previous references, is that they will immediately understand each other. That alone is a glorious miracle. A meeting between two people ruled by Uranus often (literally and seriously) brings tears to the eyes of each. It's like that, when you've been thinking no one in the entire world will ever feel as you do about anything, or ever understand why you feel as you do about everything.... to find someone who smiles in recognition is a day to be marked on your Tolkien calendar as a RED LETTER DAY of unexpected,but warmly welcomed, peace and joy and good.
At long last, there's another human being who will silently hike through the hills to hunt mushrooms with you, and not chatter every minute about matters of no consequence. Someone who knows where to look for Regulus and Spica on a starry summer night in the mountains, and can point out Arcturus too.. someone who has read Walden, by Thoreau, exactly twenty-three times, as you have... someone who is willing to punch every member of Congress in their windbags for refusing to honor and treat the American Indians with the enormous reverence and respect they deserve, let alone refusing to apologize to them for the theft of their land and their country. Someone who knows what a quark is, why the number nine is the Universal solvent, and also the Red Dragon of alchemy. . . . someone who's aware that it's time to either heal this planet or say a farewell to i t . . . . someone who's dedicated to waterless toilets, as the great hope for our future, which could bring the double blessing of once-more rich, fertile soil and pure, unpolluted waters on the Earth . . . . someone who wants to swim rivers, climb t r e e s . . . . to be free . . . . rather than spend a lifetime in this loveless toil we fill our days with . . . . who believes in homeopathy and radionics because they work ... someone who is at war with those who carve up the Earth and call it "subdivision" . . . . who is determined to halt the unnecessary medical and scientific slaughter of our living, terrified, animal brothers.... someone who is, in a word - sane.
Now you comprehend (I hope) what I meant by the nineteenth and twentyfirst words of the sixth sentence in the third paragraph, at the beginning of this chapter. Let's all say a silent and reverent prayer that more Aquarians find one another during this, their own age, which is now dawning. As we pray, we'll be joined by Water Bearers Abraham Lincoln, Joanne Woodward, Paul Newman,Adlai Stevenson, Lewis Carroll, Mia Farrow Previn, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Professor Ray Neff... Jimmy Hoffa, Bill Snyder, Edith Bunker, George Jefferson alias Sherman Hemsley, Pearl Burt, and Thomas Edison........by all the helpless plants and animals and sea life.......the baby seals and their mothers...............the butchered cows and pigs and leopards.............Aquarians Charles Lindbergh, Vanessa Redgrave . . . . the Coyote tribe of Hopis . . . . Tom Banyaca.... Craig ......Joel Cohen, Debra Hayek........Goldfield Druid, Nona Stodart.............Claudine Longet.... Alfred E. Neuman . . . . Ruth Edwards . . . . and Bilbo Baggins.
. . . also honorary Water Bearers Claire Faverone
and Francesco Bernardone, of Assisi
. . . Jesus, the carpenter, and Mary Magdalene.
