Novelty was beckoning to them again, as usual...
So you are a Sagittarian man, and you like to face the truth straight-on. No shilly-shallying around. You're brave enough to handle it, and you much prefer it to pretense. Excellent. This is wiser of you than you realize, when it comes to coping with the Aquarian girl you've just joyously bounced in love with because she's so feminine, so fragile, so free and so fey.
Fey she is. No doubt of it. But since love has a way of shading the unvarnished truth with a tone or two of rosewood, perhaps best that we open your eyes fully to what you might be facing in a relationship with the "feminine,"fragile and free lady Water Bearer, who's uncontrollably guided by Uranus.(Never ruled. She can't be ruled, because she doesn't measure to any yardstick ever invented.) Of course, I'll grant you that every Aquarian girl is different (oh,are they different!) so you can't always judge one by another. Still, it helps to be aware of all the possible detours. I'm always telling you that Aquarians are a touch absent-minded now and then, and you may believe I exaggerate to make astrology more fun. I've no objection to astrology being fun, but I do not exaggerate.Especially not when I tell you Aquarians are sometimes a little forgetful.In fact, my illustrations of this particular Uranus trait, sprinkled throughout all the Aquarian chapters in this book, may be somewhat under-played, de-emphasized,so to speak. Milder than the truth. Colored with tones of rosewood. Andso forth.
I can see you doubt my veracity. Your Archer's eyebrows are already assuming the Jupiter bow's skeptical curve. You Sag creatures never believe anything without asking a couple of dozen questions first. All right, Centaur, stifle your questions for a moment, and see if I can telepathically answer them before you ask them. You want proof that she's as absent-minded as I claim. Not here say. Not second or third handed. The unqualified truth about her, you're thinking, straight from the horse's mouth, right? Well, she's not a horse. You are. At least, half of you is a horse (the other half is a prophetic, prognosticating philosopher)but never mind, I know what you mean. Here goes.
You have, naturally, heard of the Hungarian Aquarian, actress Zsa Zsa Gabor?If you haven't, you undoubtedly live in Tibet or Pago-Pago, and you aren't even reading this book, because my publishers, as far as I know, do not plan a Tibetan or Pagoan translation, at least not of the first edition. Everyone else on this planet has indisputably heard of Zsa Zsa - even some Tibetan monks, I imagine, but they're not planning to marry one (an Aquarian, that is)having taken a vow of chastity, blessedly protecting them from experiences like wedlock with a Water Bearer. I mentioned the glamorous Gabor briefly at the beginning of this chapter, but I saved the good stuff till now, where it would be more effective - where you, poor unsuspecting Archer, will find it more useful. First off, Zsa Zsa has been married no less than 7 times. Aquarians change their minds a lot, sort of like Libra and Gemini women - and a smattering of Sagittarians too, like yourself. It's not that you Archers are promiscuous, but you do like to flirt a lot, and sometimes get caught in your own blarney. I hope that doesn't offend you. After all, you can't help it if you're often dumb-dumb romantically. (I sound like a Sag, don't I? But I'm really not, I'm a Ram, only pretending to be a Sag, to show you what it's like to be on the receiving end of your Jupiter-type, cheerful but candid, casual observations.)
Well, anyway, Zsa Zsa's 4th Uranus lightning bolt marriage was to an industrialist named Herbert Hutner. Remember his name, please. It's important.Herbert Hutner. You have that? Good. Remember it. Aquarian Gabor thought he was, in her own words, "a really darling guy, but too good a husband.
There was no challenge." Are you picking up points, Sag man? Keep listening.Since you like guessing games, would you like to guess what happened on Zsa Zsa and Herbert's honeymoon? You give up? Smart fellow. As imaginative as you are, you'd still never guess. So I'll tell you. Three days after her lovely, traditional wedding to Herbert, Zsa Zsa herself, mind you, confesses that an odd thing occurred when her groom left her in the wedding suite and went out to tend to some business. (Industrialists are always running around here and there, attending to business.) While he was gone, he missed his charming, lovable,sweetly-scented, pretty-butterfly-bride, as all lovers since Romeo are wont to do, so he phoned their honeymoon hotel to speak with her.
"Tell Mr. Hutner I never accept calls from strangers," Zsa Zsa icily informed the shocked hotel switchboard operator, then firmly but daintily replaced the soft rosewood receiver, and returned to her fragrant rosewood bubble bath, humming a happy little Hungarian tune. No. They hadn't quarreled. She had forgotten her new husband's name. After all, he'd been gone a whole day, and she had a lot on her mind.
Now, do you believe me? You wanted the truth, and you got it. If you don't believe me, ask Zsa Zsa. Or Herbert Hutner. It might be kinder to ask Zsa Zsa. Mr. Hutner may find other subjects more pleasant to discuss. But, being a Sag, I suppose if you ever run into him when he's out industrializing somewhere,you'll ask him bluntly anyway. Better be cautious. He could take a swing at you. He might be a Sagittarian like yourself - and you know what a quick temper you have, right? I'm sorry I don't actually know Herbert's Sun Sign. I was kind of scared to find out. But if he should happen to also be a Water Bearer, he won't have the slightest idea what you're talking about. By this time, he'll have forgotten the hotel, the phone call - and possibly also the marriage. Except when his nose catches a whiff of rosewood. Ah, memories . . .
I assume you Aquarian women have also picked up a few points about the Archer you love by now. In case you did, but have already forgotten, I'll remind you. He's a walking, talking question box. He's honest and forthright, like you.He's an idealist, like you. He likes the truth, however painful. He likes girls.But mostly to pal around with, although he's incurably romantic and multiple minded until he falls in love for keeps. Then he's a sentimentalist. He won't be deceptively unfaithful. He'll tell you first. He has the temper of Jupiter. (Jupiter rules all large things.) He's fond of animals, and may give you a horse or a dog for your birthday. Never mind if you don't remember that about him. Actually,you didn't forget, because this is the first time I've told you. (In this chapter.) Sometimes he's a clown, and he'll amuse you marvelously. At other times, he's a veritable and venerable sage, a fountain of intellectualism, philosophy and wit.
He has this kind of religious-spiritual charisma that permeates his aura. He could be anything from a Born Again Christian (who'd like to return and be reconceived)to a garlanded guru, who sits in the lotus position on a lotus, chewing an alfalfa sprout and meditating upon the navel of a turtle. He could be a harried Krishna, complete with clanging cymbals and chanting pigtail, mumbling melodious mantras - or a total atheist. He probably won't be a plain garden variety Protestant (though he does enjoy protesting). Not enough challenge. You see. He is a lot like you! He adores excitement, the unusual and the thrilling,even if his outward mien is that of a scholarly bookworm or a bored litigation lawyer. (Nothing could be more boring than litigation.) Pay no heed to his quiet surface personality - he's dual. He could be an explorer, because he thrives on suspense and danger. He loves to play games and gamble (that's pretty dangerous,especially in Vegas) and he especially loves to travel. He may take off to Macchu Picchu and forget to tell you he left. (See how it feels? ) But he'll call you from darkest Peru, like a Postscript, and ask you to join him poking and perusing
around in the ancient ruins. You'll most likely go. Take your checkerboard.And maybe a basketball. He also likes sports. Indoor and outdoor.
The lovemaking game between the Archer and the lady Water Bearer can be something like touch football. He touches her foot with his toe, she touches his cheek tenderly with her hand, and her airy essence fans his fiery essence into a sizable amount of expanded Jupiter passion. Desire is truly like a game they play together, sometimes energetically . . . sometimes gently, restfully, just exchangingaffection and warmth between them. Like all 3-11 Sun Sign Pattern mates, the sexual facet of their love is friendly and giving. Neither of them are in the least bit possessive, but they're both very jealous. That means they'll usually be willing to give each other miles of freedom to be an individual, but they also like what is theirs to be theirs - such as one another. Neither will object to the other sharing his or her mind with anyone at all, but they'll draw the line (if they're typical of their Sun Signs) at sharing bodies. Which is nice, because they're also both essentially idealists, and ideals become them beautifully.When either Sagittarius or Aquarius makes a mistake impulsively, their ideals become tarnished, and a tarnished ideal to an astrological idealist can be sadly tormenting to the heart and soul.
She'll have oodles of friends of every rank and file, and let's hope he likes them, since, if he doesn't he will almost surely make it painfully clear to her (and to them) that he doesn't. Well, she wanted an honest man, this woman she's searched for one in and out of her dreams ever since she was the age of Juliet.In the Archer, she's found one, and telling the truth is a part of being honest.Even when the truth stings a little. A brief sting isn't as bad as the deeper may quarrel frequently, but they'll forgive and forget, kiss and makeup quickly.Forgetting injuries without holding bitterness is the nicest kind of absent-mindedness,and they both are blessed, to a large degree, with this quality. His anger flares swiftly, hers zig-zags like a lightning flash, but both soon fade into laughter and loving again.
The main thing to remember is that she was born under a Fixed Air Sign(stubbornly changeable or changeably stubborn, take your choice) as well as a masculine Sun Sign (her "femininity" is not fragile) and is also ruled by a masculine planet. Double masculine Fixed. Likewise, he was born under a masculine Sun Sign, so he's aggressive and tough, therefore will balk at being bossed - and he's ruled, too, by a masculine planet. But he is not Fixed. He's Mutable Fire. Double masculine Mutable. Therefore, his mutability and her airy adaptability to change (except when she's being Fixed and stubborn) will allow them to handle the various emotional fluctuations of a relationship ratherwell, between them. He's somewhat hot-headed. She's more or less cool-headed,logical and detached (which may be what brings on some of his hot-headedness).But she's also soothing enough to cool his fevered brow at such times with her light touch. So it works out quite magically, when they really love each other.
Just so the Archer doesn't forget the sage advice of marriage counselor, Z. Z.Gabor, Phd. (Pretty-Hungarian-Damsel) who sighed sadly and daintily, "Darling,there was no challenge." As for the Uranus lady, it would help if she'd remember to be maybe a little less fey. Still, while she might forget his name now and then, she'll never forget his soft, puppy-dog eyes, his cheerful grin . . . the superb ways he plays touch football at night. She'd know him anywhere. Because the Aquarian women always remembers her dreams. And that's where she first met him . . . a long, long time ago.
