"What nonsense you talk, precious. No one can get into
the house without knocking."
"I think he comes in by the window," she said.
"My love, it is three floors up."
. . . . oh, surely she must have been dreaming.
No. She is definitely not dreaming. Aquarian men do enter a room in a unique and unusual manner, like everything else they do. In fact, to enter a house, a classroom, a theatre, a stadium, a church, or a chicken coop via a window would be disappointingly mundane of a Water Bearer. He could clop in the door wearing water skis or snowshoes. I know an Aquarian (a grown-up one) whose hobby is walking on stilts - the kind I used to hobble on down the back alley when I was a child. He is the stilt champion of his neighborhood. Truthfully. Made his own stilts too. Water Bearer actor I know, named Bernie Friedman, skateboards around the block in the Bronx, on Cruger Avenue, checking on the scores of the local stickball games, the absolutely brilliant song lyrics he writes tucked under his arm, a tattoo of his favorite singer, Frank Sinatra, somewhere behind his left ear, nibbling on a kosher dill pickle and a freshly baked bagel - wearing a blue-and-white badge printed with the words: May the Force Be with You.
These male Water Bearers are, every last one of them, from outer space,which is their very logical excuse for being so spaced-out. I have an Aquarian friend whose initials are J. C. (no, not the Peanut King - and not that other one, although my friend is also of Hebrew descent. But he's from Wantagh, New York, not Jerusalem). Anyway, Joel Cohen visited me recently. Before he arrived, he phoned and made an appointment with me for eleven o'clock A.M. When I asked him why he couldn't come earlier, so we could have breakfast, he replied that he didn't want to be committed to any earlier hour because he wanted to allow enough time for getting lost in trying to locate the meeting place. I found that quite sensible of him. Aquarians frequently get lost on the subway, on the freeway, at airports . . . . and sometimes, in their own homes.
In whatever manner the male Water Bearer may choose to enter a room,once he has entered, if there should be an Aquarian female present, their eyes will grin at each other immediately, then blink a few times, then wander to the ceiling. (Aquarian eyes are hard to pin down. So are Aquarians themselves.) If either of these two Water Bearers happen to be already committed, attached to someone else, engaged, involved in a romance, or legally wed, neither would dream of attempting to become more intimate emotionally. Infidelity is not part of the code of the typical Aquarian. (I can't speak for the untypical ones,except to say that, if they morally transgress, there will be a good and logical reason, which may not make sense to anyone else, but will make perfect sense to them.) And so, should one or both of our typical Aquarians belong to someone else (be previously romantically committed), they will not fall madly in love, arrange a secret tryst, or break the rules in any way. Instead, they will just become close, platonic friends.
If they happen to both be wninvolved with others, and therefore technically free to search for true love at the time of their meeting, exactly the same thing will occur. They will become close, platonic friends. Often, for a fairly long period of time, considering that they are members of the opposite sex. Aquarians,both the girl and boy Water Bearers, think far more highly of friendship than they do of love. Friendship is their great goal in life - to be friends with every king, queen, prime minister, ambassador, peasant, beggar, chooser, fakir, baker,and candlestick maker.... every dog, cat, mule, rose bush, swallow, thrush,child, baby, president, ant, fly, horse, anteater, singer, dancer, clown, and elephant on this planet. Naturally, they don't achieve this goal entirely. But they come surprisingly close.
Friendship, you see, they trust. But romance .. love .. represents to the Water Bearers a state of mind of which to be suspicious. Those few Aquarians whose Suns were extremely afflicted at birth by malefic planets from the fifth or eighth houses in their horoscopes, may lead shockingly unorthodox and promiscuous sex lives. But the majority of Aquarian men and women have this attitude in common - they think thusly: Romance leads to Love. Love leads to Sex. Sex is, quite simply, the study of two distinctly different types of plumbing.Once this difference has been discovered, established, and carefully tested a few times, to continue the research project indefinitely is a waste of time.There are too many fascinating subjects in the world to investigate for a person to spend all his (or her) time with just one.
Even Leo and Scorpio lovers must admit the Water Bearers do have a point there, theoretically, at least. Everything these Uranus-ruled people think, say,or do is theoretical - abstract or academic. Including falling in love, when they've decided it's safe and sensible, but mostly because they are curious, and they can't stand the mystery any longer .. the mystery of Him .. the mystery of Her.
The Aquarian male will require the woman he finally chooses as "his very own- to-pal-around-with-him-on-his-grand-tour-of-Life," to be more than just a wife, a mistress, a mother, and a maid. He will expect her to be a geisha girl, his confidante, his secretary, his confessor, his very-best-friend-in-all-the-world, his buddy, his partner in all his crazy, far-out, magical, and impossible schemes.She will also have to be fond of the rest of his friends (which could be a sizable group), be pretty good at doing math in her head, be able to tell the difference between Uriah Heep and Ophelia, and to have read and be able to intelligently discuss whether Sherlock Holmes was killed by Professor Moriarty or vice versa.(She doesn't have to know the answer, just have an interesting opinion.) If the Aquarian girl he loves can manage all that, he might be able to manage a few miracles for her.Of course, the Aquarian female will require essentially the same magic tricks from him. She'll expect him to be far more than just a good breadwinner,husband, father, lover, and so on. He'll have to be her guru, her judo instructor,her father, brother, very-best-friend-in-all-the-world, her Tibetan monk, her Romeo, her Valentino, her Cleveland Amory (referring to the latter's notable crusade for the rights of animals), and definitely her Ralph Nader and her Amory Lovins (the Pied Piper of solar and other alternative energies).
He must, in all the important ways, remind her of the boy she first loved,the one who handed her a raggedy daisy behind the teacher's back in algebra class . . . . just as she must, in all the important ways, strongly resemble the girl he first loved, the one with one blue eye and one brown eye, who was the most beautiful girl in his geometry class, to whom he loaned his handkerchief one afternoon when she was weeping inconsolably because she goofed her equilateral triangles.
You see, the requirements for forever-after love are so heavy with Aquarians,it's little wonder lots of them never marry. You need a considerable amount of in-the-field experience to qualify for the job of his wife - or her husband. Not experience in the fields of love or sex or any of that nonsense, but in the field of ordinary living. Scratch that. Make it "extraordinary" living.
Once they've met each other's delicate, complex, convex, and convoluted qualifications, and passed with an A-plus, this man and this woman will stand an excellent chance of achieving sexual harmony together. Both he and she instinctively know one of sexual love's greatest secrets - that rarity makes anything in the Universe more exquisite, and lovemaking is no exception. Not that they will live platonically as brother and sister - no, far from that - but they will not, if they are typical Water Bearers, satiate their bodies with mating for the sake of mating alone. When they express their love physically, there will usually have been a gradual build-up of desire, beginning with their eyes grinning at one another over dinner or breakfast. I said "usually." At other times (not often, but frequently enough) physical love between them will be sudden,unexpected, and explosive, with not a nuance of warning from either. Just instant need, followed by silent and instant fulfillment. It's just possible that the Uranus boredom with over-experimentation in the area of sexual plumbing they both felt individually before they met wouldn't be such a bad school of erotic research for lovers of all Sun Signs to attend, considering the value of its diploma.
If the Moon Signs and Ascendents of this 1-1 Sun Sign Pattern couple are harmonious, their potential for rainbows and leprechauns are as bell-ringing as they could hope for .. but if their Lunar-Solar positions or Ascendents are in conflicting aspect in the mutual nativities, there could be too much of a similar good thing (or weird thing) in their natures, and they'll have to make some serious adjustments if they expect to be able to live together in peace.
For one thing, they may like one another's friends too much. Most couples have problems because one or the other of them can't get along with the other's friends. Not this couple. Because they'll be so curious and fascinated with their mutual friends, they may completely forget about their curiosity and fascination for each other, and wander off some night with one of the friends . . . not necessarily to have an affair, perhaps to discuss starting a discotheque for UFO pilots or opening a health food store for giraffes. Maybe to discuss the possibility of the Aquarian himself (or herself) running for President. It's hard to keep romance alive when the kitchen is crowded with friends, the living room is crowded with friends - and the bed is piled high with the coats and scarves and sweaters of their continual flow of.... friends.
Another trait which can be a troublemaker if it's overemphasized, for the reason that both Aquarians share it, is their mutual Fixity. Fixity is stubbornness,only a bit more so. In the Uranus-ruled man and woman, it's woven through with their unpredictable behavior, so you might say that these two double
up on the syndrome of inventive, unconventional stubbornness. Like, he will be adamant about allowing his dog, Jeep, to sleep with them every single night,curled under his chin. It's difficult and slightly unaesthetic to kiss a man goodnight who is wearing a Labrador retriever puppy around his neck. You never know whether it's the man you love or the dog kissing you on the nose. That can
be disconcerting to a girl who wants to be loved to sleep. Or . . . she may be adamant about insisting on the right to drive his car, even though she pretzeled it around a mailbox two times in one week, and has a collection of parking and speeding tickets that fill up the glove compartment. That can be frustrating to a man who would like to be able to be assured of transportation on a fairly regular basis. It's almost impossible to wheedle an Aquarian into changing his or her mind (and it's totally impossible to make them do it) about anything whatsoever.
Fortunately, even the Aquarian man and woman who have negative aspects between their Suns and Moons have an easy solution to their areas of tension.They can concentrate on mutual - or even separate - goals of humanitarianism or scientific research. That way, they won't have as much time to argue with each other's Fixity. It's a fact that many missionary couples, explorer man-and wife teams, and scientific researchers, collaborating authors, and so on . . . belong to this double Aquarian 1-1 Sun Sign Pattern. The two of them can always lose themselves together in dedication to an idealistic goal and, therefore, run less risk of losing each other through discontent and restlessness. They don't
have to go on safari together in Africa, climb the Himalayas in search of the High Lama, or work in a chrome-plated laboratory as a team. They can involve themselves in more normal, mundane teamwork, like training baby gorillas,starting a unicycle repair shop, testing faulty parachutes, researching out-oft he-body experience through catatonic trance in the Cheops pyramid in Egypt, or writing a book which explains that Cheops did not build the Giza Pyramid,and reveals who actually did build i t . . . . in contented togetherness. Yes, I know these double career suggestions are not "normal and mundane" to you and me, but to the Aquarian man and woman they are not in any way abnormally far-out or freakish.
As I've mentioned before in this book, and also in Sun Signs, the Uranus ruled man and woman believe in change - except as it relates to themselves.He may tend to believe everything and everyone in the world should change, including her (his buddy), but he refuses to make the slightest change in his own personal pattern of habits. She may tend to believe - and to refuse - likewise.Obviously, one of them will have to see the error of this sort of blindfolded thinking. Preferably both of them.
Their happier moments together will be when they spring surprises on each other. Aquarians love to both give and receive surprises. These two will seldom hint about their individual plans before they carry them out. The old Model T Ford he gives her for Christmas will be completely unexpected. The doghouse she builds for him, attached to their bed, where Jeep can sleep every other Tuesday night, will not be announced, but just be there, to shock him some morning when he awakens to think it's Jeep kissing his nose, and finds out the puppy is snoring contentedly in his new home a few feet away - and it's really his buddy who's kissing him. His good old buddy, his best friend, the girl who looks so much like his first love, she's made him forget her name. Whose name? The old flame's name, I meant. But it's also entirely possible for an Aquarian male to forget his wife's name. Names are unimportant. He remembers the important things about her, like the way she looks when her hair is wet, after a swim or a shower .. the way her voices soothe his spirit when she reads him Tolkien bedtime stories at night.... and the way she fixes his spinach souffle and prune whip every morning.
The Aquarian woman is absentminded too. She may forget her lover's or husband's name now and then, when she's busy doing other things, like sawing the wood for his doghouse, or writing her thesis on the development of a camera to photograph scenes of the past, using quartz crystals in the lens .. but she'll remember what really matters. She'll remember how he was the first man who was able to point out Sirius and Orion to her in the sky .. who explained to her how the common usage of a waterless toilet might actually save the planet.. who gave her a subscription to National Geographic as a wedding gift, and a set of tools for tuning the car on her birthday. Then, of course, there are those
moments of . . . instant need . . . and instant fulfillment. . . unexpectedly . . . and the way his eyes grin at her, afterward. These things she will remember forever, because they are matters of consequence.
