ARIES Man - CANCER Woman

"Hullo, Wendy," he said, not noticing any difference, for he was thinking chiefly of himself. 

"Hullo, Peter," she replied faintly, squeezing herself as small as possible. Something inside her was crying. 

An Aries man is initially lured by a Cancerian girl because she seems so appealingly helpless and feminine (Note: I said she seems helpless. We'll take that up later. Appealing and feminine she definitely is, no argument there.) She appears to need his strong masculine shoulder to cry on, his fiery emotional support.

When the Moon Maiden gives a Ram her flattering, undivided attention, it proves to him what he's always suspected - that no woman can resist him. She'll cook for him, baby him, laugh at his jokes, add some pretty funny ones of her own and generally make his life one long, sweet song of soothing serenity, with comical lyrics. But the music he hears could be a prelude to a slowly growing feeling of being smothered. As you well know, if you're at all acquainted with astrology, Rams do not like to be smothered - by blankets, authority or restriction of any kind - not even by love. Smothered in attention is fine, but the Aries male draws a line at having his freedom squeezed out of him. Now, it's true that no one can squeeze away a man's freedom as painlessly and pleasurably as a Cancerian girl. If she's subtle about it, as most Moon Maids are, a Ram could find the trip on her romantic flying carpet a thrilling experience (she has a deep-seated wanderlust hiding behind her homemaking knacks, you know). However, if the Crab shows signs of beginning to cling too closely, the Aries male may jump off the carpet, without a parachute, if necessary. 

About her feminine helplessness: He'll sooner or later learn that it's somewhat of an illusion - maybe someday when she incorporates her own bank, redecorates a friend's house, runs for Congress or rescues a child from drowning in the ocean, beating the lifeguard to the spot. Cancer is a Cardinal Sign, and these women possess an amazing stamina and tenacity, along with all that moonlight fragility. After the first shock has worn off, he'll probably admire her for it. He admires any kind of strength, and she's far stronger than her timid tears when he's hurt her feelings (which may be frequently) might indicate. He could even fall more deeply in love with her when he discovers she's not all "sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice," since he essentially needs a woman who will fight back with him now and then. 

But other sour notes may threaten to spoil love's concert between these two Sun Signs - like money. She has a pronounced compulsion to accumulate it, maybe even paper the bedroom, kitchen and nursery walls with it (her three favorite rooms). To her, financial security is synonymous with emotional security. The two are inseparable. He likes money too, and can think of hundreds of exciting uses for it, but stashing it away in a rusty old trunk in the attic or a bank vault for a rainy day is not at the head of his list. To Aries, money is to spend (or give away). His motto is: "Money can't buy happiness." Since they're both in love and happy, who's worried about cash? She is. She's worried about it. Because, you see, her motto is: "Happiness can't buy money." The Aries man contemplating a ring-around-the-rosy with a Moon Maiden should think about that. Carefully. He still won't agree with it, but he should think about it. 

It won't be long until he notices her moodiness. Of course, he's moody too, but that's different and understandable. With Aries, everything is different and understandable when they do it - also justifiable and permissible, as well as excusable. (Remember, Aries is the adorable but totally self-centered symbolic Infant of the zodiac.) Her moods he considers to be uncalled-for damp prisons of gloom, and it must be admitted that they are deeper, more indigo and longer lasting than his. Sometimes it happens that a Ram cheers a girl Crab out of her periodic Lunar melancholy with his sheer optimism. It makes him feel strong and masculine, and gives her the emotional stability she needs. But there's a danger that he may eventually revolt against a fluctuating depression he can't fathom, if only because it frightens him into thinking that perhaps his self-made Mars miracles don't have the power to swing the Universe he believed them to have. Rather than face that horrible thought, he could split. He may not get too far. She's kind of nice to come home to, and make up with - and who else bathes his ego in such charming shades of lavender and soft green, with such silvery sincerity? She's funny and tender at the same time, and eternally capable of pulling him out of those holes he jumps into, head first. Besides, she bakes a terrific blueberry muffin - and the chemical attraction between them is an added attraction. It might not have been what first drew them together, the initial interest might have been based on other things ... but after a while it grew into a positive aspect of their relationship well worth considering. 

Her Lunar imagination quickly sparks the flame of his Martian sexuality, and his enthusiastic, idealistic lovemaking can pull her out of her bashful (or snappy) shell into a beautiful fulfillment of latent passion. There's an affectionate quality in the Aries approach to sex that may reach a part of her nature which has timidly hidden itself behind her crazy, Looney Bird laughter until the right man came along to find it. Unfortunately, however, this woman's ingrained sense of Cancerian practicality soon tells her that "man can't live with hyacinths alone - he needs bread." (Cancer sometimes has a way of twisting truisms around, or reversing them, to accent the negative, and eliminate the positive.) That's when the real cash conflict may begin, when she mentions money in the middle of some romantic interlude, just as the two of them are about to become "one." Suddenly, sexual closeness is replaced by an emotional explosion. 

Any relationship between Aries and Cancer is usually subjected to a generous sprinkling of fights over money - how to obtain it, and how to dispose of it. He's extravagant, she's thrifty. At least, she's normally economical, until she spins into one of her many moods, triggered by the phases of the Moon, and indulges herself in a buying spree of feminine frivolities to boost her sagging ego. Most other times, however, she's a little reluctant to part with cash, to put it mildly. 

If they manage to overcome the sensitive point of finances, through mutual give-and-take, Aries and Cancer possess the potential of building some solid dream castles together, especially if there's a trine, sextile or conjunction between his Sun and her Moon, or vice versa. Her combination of creative flights of fancy and a common sense attitude about cash (an odd contradiction in Cancerians) coupled with his audacity and Mars determination, will usually give this Sun Sign couple immunity from the need to apply for Government Welfare. Still, the problems aren't over. Her moods keep popping up to plague them. 

He may fail to comprehend the delicacy of her emotional needs and be completely baffled by her changing moods. Perception is not an Aries strong point. It can throw him into a fit of perplexity. What could he have done wrong? (Nothing. I keep telling you, it's the Moon.) Only moments ago, she was skipping around like a dodo bird chattering and giggling and humming a tune, feeding the kitten soybean cakes - all smiles. And now, tears. What happened? Check The Farmer's Almanac, or the evening paper. It may be the Full Moon. Or it may be that her feelings have been bruised by something he didn't even realize he said. Perhaps he failed to notice her new dress, or forgot to tell her how delicious her carrot casserole was. Ever since childhood, this girl has feared that no one loved her. He'll have to gently teach her that the best way to get love is to give love. (This won't be easy, since it's a lesson he desperately needs to learn himself.) The Aries man should remember that the way to keep a Moon Maiden happy is to be sure she always receives lots of love, lots of food and lots of money. She's not greedy, she's just security-hungry, and that's not the same thing at all. I left out something. If she's a typical Lunar lady, add to the list lots of babies. Well, at least a few. 

A Ram is nearly always enthusiastic about approaching fatherhood, and she'll adore this quality in him. But after the bundles of joy grow out of their booties into Buster Browns, they may begin pulling their parenthood wagon in opposite directions. He believes in teaching the youngsters to be independent. Although he can be bossy and demanding with them, his general inclination is to give them lots of room to grow in. She takes motherhood seriously, and I mean very seriously. She'll closely scrutinize their food, clothing, romances, careers and health. They'll be stuffed with pea soup, cuddled, coddled and watched over - all done in a spirit of friendly persuasion, of course. Mama knows what's best, what's right to eat and wear, who's wrong to love and marry. All this could lead to his accusing her of smothering their individualities - and to her accusing him of being too harsh, and too detached, by turns. The offspring may feel they're being slowly squashed between two cement walls, at times. Compromise in child raising is a must, or this relationship will crack irreparably. 

The Ram's ability to give and receive love depends upon his image of himself as the strong one. He needs constant freedom of expression and action. His woman must have absolute faith in his ability to move mountains. Otherwise, his frustrated emotions may form strange neurotic patterns, turning him from a courageous Ram into a meek, unhappy sheep. Like being under a witch's hex. She should never remind him that she is better than he at juggling the bank balance (even if she is) - or anything else that may cut sharply into his masculinity. If she refrains from tossing wet blankets on his dreams, he'll stay close to home, contentedly. If she allows him to lead the parade, without dampening his hopes, he'll be able to make her mountains of secret worries and fears disappear forever. But there's always the possibility that her despairing silences, sulky temper and occasional touches of hysteria will drive him right up the side of her money-papered walls, and out of the house - and that his rash words and impulsive behavior will bring her watery nature to a boil, until it sloshes over and drowns his incentive. 

When she's weeping, and he doesn't know why, he shouldn't storm out of the room impatiently. He should take her in his arms, and lullaby her with tender reassurances, to stem the tides of fear and loneliness rising in her, whispering softly, "Please don't cry, and don't worry. Everyone loves you because you're so smart and so pretty, and you tell funny stories. Besides, we're almost sure to be rich someday. And as for me, I love you even more than other people do, and that's really a bunch. You don't have to offer to do the neighbor's laundry. We're not quite that poverty-stricken, and we never will be. Now, I want you to wash your face, brush your hair, blow your nose, and get dressed in something beautiful, because I'm going to take you out to dinner." He should then mention the name of the most expensive, exclusive restaurant in town. She'll stop sniffling right away. 

"All nine courses - including the dessert tray?" she'll ask, then, tentatively, her eyes beginning to sparkle. 

"Yes, darling, all nine courses, including the dessert tray .. and afterwards, we'll go to a movie, whichever one you want to see." 

That last promise ought to do it. It may be the first time in years the thoughtlessly selfish Ram has allowed her to choose which film to see .. or anything else.

ARIES MAN AND CANCER WOMAN LOVE COMPATIBILITY

ARIES Woman - CANCER Man

She wanted to risk it, come what might, but that was not his way ... 

Like all females born under masculine Sun Signs, who are, in addition, ruled by a masculine planet (in this case, Mars), the Aries girl has private doubts about her femininity. Ever since dancing school, she's been reluctant to let her partner take the lead. 

Most of the fellows she's waltzed around have panicked when they weren't allowed to set the pace and the rhythm of the relationship, and the male machismo mystique being what it is, her feminine "macha" caused them all to stalk off to look for a girl willing to humor their fantasies of superiority. The girl Ram is far too honest to imitate her more submissive Sun Sign sisters by pretending to allow the man to initiate every word and action, while she smiles with amused tolerance behind his back. There's a perfect example of that sort of well-meant but demeaning deception in Margaret Mitchell's great American novel, Gone With The Wind, when the dying Melanie says, of Ashley, "Look after him, Scarlet - but never let him know." 

After a few heartbreaking experiences of discovering that honesty is not always the best policy when it comes to romance, an Aries female may understandably (and justifiably) begin to have some inner traumas as she wonders about her desirability as a woman. Then along comes a Cancerian man to court her (yes, I said court her) with a respectful, gallant courtesy, like a Prince straight out of a storybook. Not only that, he makes her laugh a lot, and laughter never fails to brighten a Ram's disposition, making her sweeter to be around. From the very beginning, he makes it clear that she excites him and thrills him, no matter who walks through the door first, which one starts the conversation or who initiates a telephone call. At last! She can finally do and say what comes naturally around a man - and he still loves her. No wonder it's an intoxicating experience for her. It may be the first time she's ever felt like a member of the opposite sex. 

When he convinces her she's not the wicked old witch after all, that she's really lovely, desirable Snow White (as she always suspected) it can be exhilarating - for a while. Assuming there's a harmonious aspect of interchange between their Luminaries, Ascendents and other major horoscopic positions in their nativities, her daydreams have a good chance of coming true. Otherwise, Snow White could find herself living in the woods with only one of the Seven Dwarfs - Grumpy - and still waiting in vain for the Prince. 

An Aries female will never be permanently at peace with herself until she discovers a man who will want her to love him freely and openly, without quibbling over who initiates the first goodnight kiss, and without pouting if she occasionally interrupts him with a sudden burst of cheerful, enthusiastic chatter. She needs a man who understands that if he'll just allow her to be herself, she'll give him all the adoring love he needs to feel strong and virile and masculine. Just murmuring "Whatever you say - or whatever you decide, dear" (with a hidden smirk) is romantic hypocrisy, a travesty of honest devotion. Her love is direct. It shrinks into restless frustration when it's restricted by petty arguments over what constitutes the difference between masculinity and femininity. She loves him with all her heart and soul and mind and being - isn't that enough? Yes. It should be - and it very well may be, for a boy Crab. But Rams have other areas of friction with Cancerians. 

Both of them are intensely jealous. The chief difference is that Cancer enjoys it more than Aries. To the Crab, jealousy simply proves how much he's loved and needed, and with this woman, he'll get all of that kind of proof he needs - maybe a little more than he can handle. Jealousy can sometimes bring a sense of emotional security to the Ram too - just a light touch of it, now and then. But when it's overdone to the point of smothering possessiveness, it can sharply cramp her life-style, which is friendly, free and gregarious - and the truth of it is that a Cancerian lover or mate may lay it on with a heavy hand, once the courting gallantry is over, and he's sure she is his. Of course, it's equally true that his Crab-like trait of hanging on, when it comes to love, is an indication of his inclination toward loyalty and faithfulness. She certainly has no objection to that. In her opinion, it's the very least one should expect from true love. It's when his loyal devotion subtly and gradually is transformed into clinging, which brings the feeling of being fenced in, that she'll show flashes of resentful rebellion.

Each of these two Sun Signs is as fond of money, fame and recognition as the other. However, the Crab hides his ambition better. Although they share the same basic goals of emotional security and financial success, they have rather seriously conflicting ideas about how to achieve them - as well as what to do with money, when it's there. (She wants to spend it, or give it away, to create a nice, smooth cash flow - he wants to save it to make it expand into a higher balance.) Even before either of them achieves any degree of material success, there will be disagreements. Aries is optimistic, positive, sure of winning. Cancer is often pessimistic, negative and fearful of the future (Crabs call it sensible caution) - and this is where these two may need an interpreter to communicate. 

It's impossible for the Ram to comprehend how the Crab hopes to win, at the same time he's expecting to lose. To Aries, this puzzling Cancerian attitude was expressed perfectly by physician-philosopher Jean-Baptiste Baudin, when he wrote: "To be ambitious for wealth, and yet always expecting to be poor; to be always doubting your ability to get what you long for, is like trying to reach East by traveling West. There is no philosophy which will help a man succeed when he's always doubting his ability to do so, and thus attracting failure." Granted, there are more July birthdays in Who's Who in Industry and Commerce than any others (except Taurus and Capricorn), but that's because the Cancerian has going for him a more than adequate substitute for courageous Aries optimism - a hard-shell tenacity of purpose. 

There's not much use trying to explain this to an Aries female. She's familiar with a term like "determination," but she doesn't understand the word "tenacity," because it diametrically opposes her most evident quality - impatience. Tenacity implies waiting, and this woman loathes to wait for anything, from a bus or a red light to the arrival of her current lover at the door when they have a date - or her husband's arrival home from work, if she's a married Ram. Let him be five minutes late, and she either phones the sheriff in impulsive panic, or paces the floor, working up sufficient steam to leap on him with reproaches when he does arrive. Her Cancerian lover or mate's general attitude toward ambition and success, with or without the tenacity, utterly confuses her. She believes in simple things, that people should face the direction in which they wish to travel, and she faces the East. How can he ever expect to arrive in New York when he's headed toward California? All right, so the world is round, and he may eventually get there, but it takes so much time that way. There are several possible outcomes for the dilemma. She can become desolate in the face of his moody spells of depression, and finally decide she must escape, to avoid the fate of seeing every last one of her fiery aspirations submerged in his watery Cancerian pessimism. Or she can try to cheer him out of his periodic melancholy with her own strong Mars faith, by boosting his spirits with courage and humor - like reminding him of the old proverb that every time a sheep bleats, it loses a mouthful of hay. He can throw up his hands in defeat at her impulsive emotions and financial extravagance, take off alone with his stamp collection and his old fishing hat - or he can gently, patiently teach her that caution does sometimes make sense, and that counting to ten has the benefit of never adding up to a total of zero. 

Another trouble spot could be this man's tendency to keep secrets. The Aries woman is not so closely molded in the image of the Sphinx as he. When the Crab refuses to tell her what's on his mind, she may imagine all sorts of farout things, and torture herself into a fit of Mars hysteria. He'll soon learn (let's hope) that it's more peaceful in the long run to come completely clean with her. To level. If he clams up, she'll just pry until she sees it's no use, then decide the whole thing isn't worth the energy and heartache - and possibly leave him. Suddenly. With little or no warning. Remember, Aries will waste no time on a situation that's been analyzed as impossible to change. It could end with the Crab still sitting on his secrets, while she skips off chanting Edna St. Vincent Millay's lines: "Thanks be to God, the world is wide, and I am going far from home - and I'll forget in Camelot the man I loved in Rome." He will weep. 

Then, too, there's Mama. If his mother is still living, the girl Ram who loves a boy Crab may have some stiff competition for his devotion and attention, perhaps not when they first meet - but she won't avoid it forever. If his sainted mother has passed on, Mama's qualities could take on added luster, seen through the sparkling glass of memory. Did his mother never scorch a shirt, bake flat biscuits, sing off key, waste money or lose her temper? No. Never. Not one single time. Did his mother always save cash, look prettier by sewing her own clothes, string her own beans, wear just the right amount of makeup and know exactly what to say to make him smile when he was blue? Yes. She did. Always. In a strange way, it might work to their benefit, the Mama thing. A glowing example like that is surely a challenge, and this girl can't resist struggling to meet a challenge. She may become nearly as perfect as he thinks his mother is - or was - just to prove to him that no one can top a Ram. 

In their sexual life, adjustments will also be necessary. When love is new, his tender consideration for her desires and needs will make her feel cherished, therefore emotionally secure. (Both of them have this incredible hang-up about needing emotional security.) He'll be, in the beginning, a fabulous lover. A Cancerian can be as imaginative, subtle and clever in the bedroom as he is at the bank. Her frankness and lack of guile concerning sex, a sort of unconscious vulnerability in her, will stir him deeply. Regardless of past experiences, an Aries girl always brings a kind of fresh innocence to her approach to lovemaking - in addition, when she loves, she loves fiercely and passionately, truly giving all of herself in total honesty, and this will make him feel emotionally secure. But she may be unable to remember the thrill of their original physical compatibility when he's been cranky and moody for a few days and refuses to respond to her affectionate advances. What appears to be (but isn't) his rejection of her can considerably dampen her erotic enthusiasm. It's the Moon. She'll just have to wait until the Moon changes, and stops pulling his emotions back and forth like a piece of taffy. What she should not do during these temporary Lunar phases that threaten to eclipse their happiness is become angry, and say things to wound him she'll later regret. He'll crawl into his Crab shell and stay there, for this man is acutely sensitive. However much he may joke about it, he is - and sexual hurt will cause him to retreat into brooding passivity for long periods. Or worse yet, he could seek the solace of alcohol's seductive siren song.

On the happy side of this relationship, a Crab can be very amusing and entertaining, and can make anything from counting money to digging clams wacky fun, with loads of laughs. His beautiful sensitivity and his gentlemanly air of protectiveness can bring out all the femininity in his Aries lady. He'll secretly be proud of her courageous mind and bright spirit, no matter how he grumbles about her immaturity, and he'll grow to depend on her for the emotional support he needs when the Moon sends fragments of old fears from childhood to haunt him. On the negative side, she may believe he's too stern at times, too fussy or stingy, while he may feel she's not capable of taking care of herself without a keeper. He could now and then drown his disappointments in drink or drugs, always a very real danger with a Water Sign - and she could now and then lose her quick fiery temper in such a way that it takes a long time to atone for the pain it caused. 

This is a man who's not ashamed of sentiment; he's affected by music, art and poetry, and when his heart is moved, tears come to his eyes - and this is a woman whose own heart needs a great deal of tender, loving care, for she is, emotionally, an infant, whatever her chronological age. If they crossbreed her Aries initiative with his Cancer tenacity, they might achieve wonders. Their natal Suns are squared, and so it will require lots of patience - and lots of love. But then, doesn't everything?

CANCER MAN AND ARIES WOMAN LOVE COMPATIBILITY

The Cancer Love Mystery

The Cancer Love Mystery

The child is now an Adolescent, the soul having evolved to the stage of Cancer, hovering between childhood and maturity, longing to be grown-up, yet hesitating to cross over to the other side. Cancer brings back awareness of the negative feminine and reflective Night Forces. But this second experience of night is blended with a new, richer and even more sensual feeling (which was only a poetic inspiration, not yet a true reality, on the earlier Taurean level), for a change of seasons has occurred. The spring awakening has deepened into a mid-summer night's dream in all its full-blown and fragrant beauty for these Cancerian Oberon and Titania men and women.

Now the moody, sensitive, "Adolescent" soul vacillates between childish dependence and the maddeningly enticing, beckoning world of adulthood (what is it like to be a man or a woman? ). This is beautifully expressed by the experiments between the human and faerie worlds in Taurean Shakespeare's famed classic. Is it sad or happy .. . funny or tragic? The symbolic "Puckish" Cancerian Adolescent observes the adults (humans) in the environment, uncannily perceptive of everything seen and heard. But this grown-up, material world so intensely watched hints of frequent disillusion.

And so the dreams of Cancer are troubled, causing the Crab to cry out in the night, sometimes dragging the old symbolic Taurus Teddy Bear out of the closet, and hugging it closely when no one can see. As with Cancerian men and women, the actual adolescents' changing moods puzzle them as much as they puzzle their families. But those terrors are very real to Cancerians, who fear that maturity will mean the loss of security known with the parents, especially the mother. Will future strangers ever fuss over the Crabs and love them as unconditionally as mother? Cancer is beginning to suspect that they won't.

Unable to explain their apprehensions, the Crabs turn secretive, dreaming alone - or hide and pout, imagining that no one understands. On the Cancer level, the possible loss of parental protection haunts the subconscious. Cancer has already learned what loss is. Perhaps childhood friends have moved away, the family has changed residences, the old familiar neighborhood is gone. The world is no longer so exciting as the Crabs sense its hidden pitfalls. The "Adolescent" Cancerian men and women know that growing up will surely bring unexpected hurt, so they cling to what they know can be trusted - yesterday. 

Because the new perceptions are so acute, Cancer sees a combination of tragedy and comedy in Life as it expands in his awareness through his first excursion into the sensitive Water Element. Still, despite an innate shyness, the Cancerian soul will not be pushed into the background, for this is the second experience as a Cardinal leader, which can turn illogical fear into sensible caution. 

The Crabs wish on both the Full Moon and the New, only half-conscious of what it is they wish for reluctant to find out. What does tomorrow hold? Sentiment moves the Cancerian Adolescent soul to tears. Motivated by the need to hide true emotions, the Crabs say: "I FEEL" - then, so no one will suspect they feel so deeply, they make jokes, believing they fool people. If not handled tenderly at this crucial stage of soul evolvement, the Cancerian man or woman develops a permanent, hard, protective shell against the cruel world.

Cancer's positive qualities are imagination, tenacity, tenderness, sensitivity, care and caution. Expressed in their negative form they become stinginess, irritability, melancholy, clinging and cowardice, possessiveness and moodiness.

To Cancer, as to the actual uncertain and sentimental adolescent, love has become important again, above all else. But it is now synonymous with home, representing emotional security - and the need for love is so great it must be disguised behind moody tears and Lunar laughter.