ARIES Man - LIBRA Woman

"I won't open unless you speak!" Peter cried. 

Then at last the visitor spoke, in a lovely, bell-like voice. 

"Let me in, Peter." 

It was Tink, and quickly he unbarred to her. 

It usually isn't difficult for the Libra girl to persuade the Ram to unbar his door or his heart to her. He's putty in her lovely, dimpled hands - and Rams, as you know, are normally putty in no one's hands. Aries men are not made of Silly Putty. They are made of iron and steel (the metals associated with the Aries Sun Sign). But with the Libra lady, he'll melt like a snowman in July. He can't resist her charm, the way she praises all the wonderful qualities he's perfectly aware he possesses himself, but which others are (it seems to him) forever ignoring - the undeniable sexual chemistry between them, and her womanly sweetness. (This is in the beginning. Later, he will experience a few surprises regarding her "womanly sweetness.") Besides, she's probably quite beautiful (most Libra females are), with a smile like carob cupcakes, and every Aries man adores having a girlfriend or a wife who causes other men to envy him. He needs to be proud of the woman he loves, to be able to show her off and brag about her. He wants her to always look prettier and be smarter than other women so it will be obvious that he's won first prize in the love carnival. (Rams, you see, have this inbred thing about winning.) 

Since she probably is superior to lots of other women, super bright and startlingly attractive, curvaceous and so forth, this woman will fit all his Mars requirements, and at the start of their affair, everything will be peaches and cream and buttery softness between them. 

But the Libra woman in love with an Aries man may later find herself knocked out of balance frequently. Considering her nearly neurotic reaction to being forced into instant action before she's completely sure what she wants to do, having an impatient lover or husband shout, "Come on, what's it going to be - pineapple sherbet or deep-dish apple pie a la mode? The waiter is growing a beard waiting for you to decide" - could cause their relationship to suffer some rocky periods. This man wants things done now, immediately - even sooner if at all possible - even though his demands for whatever it is he wants are often given at the last minute. "Do you want me to do it today, darling," she'll ask, "or may I do it tomorrow?" (Whether it's taking his favorite red sweater to the cleaners or typing up his address book so he'll have an extra copy if he loses it. He's always losing things.) "Today," he'll tell her. "I want it done today." (If he'd wanted it done tomorrow, he'd have asked her tomorrow.) Actually, most Rams would like anything they "request" to be done yesterday. 

This sort of irrational and impatient Mars-like reasoning can throw her delicate Venus psyche out of kilter. She could ask, "Isn't it more intelligent to plan ahead and try to do it tomorrow?" only to hear him shout at her, "Don't argue with me! Just do as I say - please." If he has a softer Moon Sign or Ascendent, he'll add the "Please" - if not, he'll just toss out his orders cheerfully, thoughtlessly demanding, without the slightest idea he's being unreasonable and somewhat spoiled. 

I know one Libra wife who gave her Aries husband a birthday gift she made herself. A wall hanging created in velvets and satins, with variations of the Mars fire-engine red tones, embroidered with the words: "Dear Lord, give me the gift of patience - but hurry." He was delighted. That's one of the nice things about the typical Arian. He's able to laugh at himself and seldom gets all stuffy when his faults are pointed out (gently, not harshly or with a severe, critical attitude). But they do have to be pointed out now and then. Once a Ram recognizes how selfish he's being, he'll feel guilty and ashamed, say he's sorry, and promise not to do it again, after which he'll proceed to do it again - and again - and again. Apologies are not difficult for the average Mars-ruled male to handle. It's one of the most lovable things about him. Aries is quick to admit a fault and accept the blame, but not too quick to drop the bad habit that was apologized for so openly and generously. Still, it's a decided virtue to be able to admit one's mistakes and try again. He does try. He doesn't always succeed, but the good Lord knows he tries. 

She apologizes sweetly too. Like Aries, Libra seldom shrinks from admitting mistakes and being willing to say she's sorry. In fact, she may be too ready to admit mistakes - or perhaps the better way to express it is that she may be too ready and willing to decide that what she decided (or did) might have been wrong. She'll worry if she's hurt his feelings by something she's said or done, and try to gracefully atone in some way. She'll be doing a lot of that with this man. Atoning, that is - apologizing and atoning for hurting his feelings, because this man is ultrasensitive. He wants everyone to like him, even to love him - family, friends, and strangers - and naturally the woman he owns. (That's more or less the way he thinks of her - owning her, like a special, exciting, precious, and long-awaited, long-prayed-for gift he found under his tree on Christmas morning.) Aries men can be extremely self-centered without meaning to be so. She'll gradually comprehend this, but before she does, her more tender Venus feelings will be bruised more than a few times. 

She'll try all her powers of Libra logic and persuasion to make him see that not every single person in the world can love him. But it will make little impression on her Ram. He won't be able to understand why he isn't liked and admired by his worst enemies, never mind what he's said or done to anger them. They should understand that he was right, after all - and that he meant no harm. He was only defending himself from something negative they did to him. Why aren't they friendlier? Why don't they see he's sorry for his hasty words and has already forgotten his anger? The Ram will expect people to forget an injury as swiftly as he does. He's always deeply wounded when people pout or bear a grudge over something he considers past and forgotten. 

His enemies today are his buddies tomorrow. He'll rush home furious with someone, and expect his Libra lady to share his fury toward the person who's offended him. If she refuses to do so, if she fairly tries to see the other person's side of the issue, and attempts to point out to her Aries lover or husband where he just might have been wrong, he'll turn on her, sometimes violently, sometimes even tearfully - and accuse her of disloyalty. She doesn't love him. If she loved him, she would be on his side - and not defend his enemies. He's not interested in her Libra fairness. The only fair point of view is his and if she really cared about him she'd see that. 

While the Ram is angry, it's impossible for him to see any side but his own, and he definitely will expect the woman he loves to champion him fiercely and consistently. The next day, he may feel quite "sheepish" about the whole thing, and be a perfect "lamb" about confessing his rashness and making amends for his goof. Then, you see, it's all right for her to say he's been wrong - because he has realized it himself. But not before he's realized it on his own. Never before. 

Naturally, a Venus-ruled female is more capable than most women of balancing the delicate situation of the quick tempers and even quicker reconciliations of the Ram she loves. She's tender, womanly, logical, and intelligent and wise. But she was born under a masculine sign, and she can balk once in a while herself when she feels he's being completely unfair. It probably won't change him, however. He'll either pout or storm angrily out the door (slamming it hard as he leaves), or sulk in the corner, convinced she hates him. 

It wouldn't be wise for the Libra woman to display her "iron fist in its velvet glove" too often with this male. He senses when he's being manipulated, after a period of time. He may innocently accept it for a while (Aries possesses almost no guile, and is nearly never unduly suspicious), but once he's caught on that she's trying to mold him into any sort of pattern of behavior, he'll become either obstinate or outraged - or both. No one tells him what to do. He is his own boss. Even when he earnestly desires to take a certain course of action, he's likely to refuse to do it if he thinks she wants him to, not because he's suspicious of her motives, but because he has a horror of doing anything someone else suggests - especially anything someone else openly directs him to do. 

The fact that she likes to argue (discuss, debate, or whatever) every minor and major decision or situation won't alienate the typical Aries man. He sees this as controversy, challenge, excitement! He'd be bored to tears with a woman who never fought back with him. His Mars nature is exhilarated by the promise of battle, whether it's only a mild personal verbal battle over which film to see - or what kind of car to buy - or an argument concerning public or more general topics, like what should be done about pornography, solar heating, nuclear power, corruption in politics, or any other burning issues of the day. But he'll like to win all these discussions. He won't give in, not an inch - until he does win (or until his clever Libra lady allows him to believe he's won). Then he feels proud, self-contented, and happy. And he'll treat her with all the loving affection and tenderness any woman could desire. 

This man's sexual image of himself is closely woven into his ability to be always right and emerge victorious in the eyes of the woman he loves. He must be respected, liked, agreed with, and looked up to in order to properly project his considerable Mars virility as a lover. If he feels rejected intellectually or in any other way, he'll freeze into Aries ice (always more serious and lasting than Aries fire - or fiery rages). Their sexual relationship will normally be an uncommonly happy and wholesome one. Her femininity and his masculinity harmonize beautifully and smoothly, in the most natural way. As long as she doesn't allow the masculine side of her Sun Sign essence to intrude into their intimacy (like displaying her capabilities in every area under the Sun to be equal to his, which they quite probably are) and then expect him to feel like the conquering male in a physical sense. He must take the lead in their sexual togetherness, as in every other way. If she allows this, and understands the needs behind it, he'll be the most sensitive, romantic, sentimental, affectionate, and passionate lover she could imagine. But he can become a demanding tyrant if she destroys his ultranecessary confidence in himself. 

There's little chance of this occurring, unless she has the Moon or Ascendent in Virgo, Sagittarius, Cancer, or Capricorn - or a lot of planets in Earth Signs in her birth chart. Her basic instinct is tact and thoughtfulness, which is usually blended nicely and equally with her own well-designed and controlled, forceful drive and aggressive nature. 

Although their natures constitute a clear polarity, the Mars-ruled man and the Venus-ruled woman are exquisitely mated. After all, Mars and Venus themselves fell wildly and permanently in love - even while Venus was wed to Jupiter. They were caught, of course, in a web woven sneakily by Neptune - but the anger of Jupiter didn't dim their passion by any means. A study of Greek mythology is of immense benefit in comprehending all Sun Signs. 

Taking into consideration that the Ram likes to leap around on rocky slopes and the Venus lady lives in a precarious world of the swinging trays of her golden Scales, wherein the slightest breath of wind can upset her inner harmony and outward tranquility, these two often manage to blend their divergent natures with surprising success. The Libra woman can find the intoxicating freedom and exciting mental activity she seeks through this man - and the Ram will enjoy walking through Libra's cool woods, down winding trails of bluebells and butterflies. 

The Libra lady is quite a lot of woman. Very few men can cope with her powerful combination of masculine determination and delectable daintiness. But the Aries man is one for taking on super challenges and winning them - and her challenge offers precious rewards to the victor. All men are little boys at heart, but the Ram is more so than most. There's nothing childish about him on the surface. He's tough and forceful - the kind of male they call a man's man. It's the aura of impossible dreams and wistful yearnings hovering mistily around his shoulders that gives him his air of youthfulness some lingering enchantment behind his eyes that makes him so vulnerable. If she uses her Venusian charm and patience to direct his flaming ambitions and incredible energies toward some worthy goal, he can become a crusader for all manner of goodness and glory. (Both of them possess a strong sense of mercy for the weak and can become outraged over injustice.) 

She'll seldom or never drown his enthusiastic spontaneity with stern criticism, sarcasm, silent pouting, long brooding silences, or withdrawal - and that will please him. He'll seldom or never refuse to be genuinely interested in and fascinated by her need to talk things over and discuss them - and that will comfort her. 

The root cause of any difficulties between them will spring from their shared birthright of the Cardinal essence. For they are both Cardinal Signs of Leadership, Aries and Libra. A relationship will never work when there's a constant battle over which one is the chief, and which one is the Indian - or which one is the general and which one is the private - who gallops ahead and who canters behind. They'll have to learn to ride their horses side by side, as equals, not as superior and subordinate. It's the only way they'll ever find the way back home into each others' hearts when they've quarreled and both of them have been deeply hurt. Otherwise, they'll get lost like Hansel and Gretel, and you know how glad they were to return home together, after all their adventures were over. The only real security anyone has is the safety of being loved by someone who accepts you just as you are, with all your flaws, and wouldn't trade you for another - ever. Someone who makes you know this, even when you're behaving badly. That's safety. That's emotional security. That's homewhere love is. 

ARIES Woman - LIBRA Man

"Wendy," he continued, in a voice no woman has ever been able to resist. . "Wendy, one girl is worth twenty boys." "I think it's perfectly sweet of you," she declared. She also said she would give him a kiss if he liked.

As I've mentioned elsewhere in this chapter, Libra and Aries are opposite each other in the karmic wheel of Life. The astrological rule is that you're strongly attracted to the opposite sex of your opposite Sun Sign, but normally don't get along too well with the same sex of that sign. It would seem then, that the Aries woman and Libra man would be natural lovers, destined to live happily ever after. 

Natural lovers they are, because the chemistry is right. Destined to live happily ever after they may not be, unless there's a harmonious Sun-Moon relationship between them, in which case they could remain sweethearts for a lifetime, the choice being up to them. Otherwise, with a discordant Sun-Moon aspect in their mutual charts, it could be touch and go. They may touch tenderly - but it won't be long until they go - in opposite directions - putting them right back where they started: opposed. 

It's a waste of time for astrologers to keep mentioning the Libra man's fatal charm for women. He's been practicing it, with instant success, since he was thirteen (or younger), and his reaction to flattery is simply to flash that dimpled, Libra smile and murmur, "Tell me all about it, honey." All right, so he's aware of the blessings of his Venus birthright. He may not be as aware that all that charm can be a curse when he's mixed up with an Aries female. (No one ever gets involved with an Aries - they get mixed up.) 

The long line of women who cue up behind him everywhere he goes will turn an Aries girl who's been a gentle lamb into a Dragon Lady, with fire flaming from her ears. Mars jealousy is often irrational, and it does cramp his Venus style. Still, before he decides to leave her because she's spoiling all his fun, the Libra man might meditate on the word "love." The longer it's stored up inside and allowed to increase in depth, the more powerful and satisfying an emotion it can be. (Read The French Lieutenant's Woman for proof.) When love is restrained, then given fully at a special moment, with a very special person, it can bring spriritual peace, along with physical ecstasy. Falling in love with love, and getting married for the sake of marriage, are common Libra mistakes. She can be lovely and desirable, but if she's not bright enough to argue with him and challenge him, his fine Libra mind will get rusty. There's no chance of that with an Aries girl. She'll provide him with all the arguments he could possibly use and enough mental challenges to last for several lifetimes. 

When the Libra man gets restless and wants to roam - alone and free where he can once more accept the favors of a harem of females, the Aries woman probably won't ask him shyly why he's leaving. She's more likely to shout, "Where do you think you're going, Charlie?" He'll tell her he's off to find another seashell, because the shore is full of them. She might remind him then, that seashells are empty. Instead of throwing an emotional tantrum (which may frighten him into splitting so fast he forgets to take along his classical tape cassettes and his favorite baby-blue angora bathrobe), she'd stand a better chance of winning (which is what all Rams want to do all the time) if she curbs her Mars temper and uses his own Libra logic as a weapon. Which is only fair, since he's always using it against her. 

"Look, darling, Life is more than one long party of wine, women, and song. While you're getting high on a steady flow of casual affairs, remember that after you pour all the wine out of a flask, you have left only an empty bottle. Then the party's over. Of course, you can always fill it up again from your inexhaustible source, can't you sweetheart? Or is your capacity to love really inexhaustible? Why don't you turn some of those romantic urges you express so well (this works better if she's wearing his baby-blue bathrobe - especially this next part) into other creative channels, like art, music, writing, or acting? I could help you. I have a brain equally as brilliant as yours - even though our bodies are made differently - because you're a man and I'm a woman." 

The last reminder is a necessity. When a Libra male is led into thinking about the differences between the sexes, he's more or less helpless. Not that the typical Aries woman will have the patience to accept the foregoing advice. She's more likely to yell at him to "Leave! Who needs you anyway!" - push him out the door - slam it - lock it - toss his tapes and bathrobe out the window and then sit up all night crying in frustrated anger and regret. But I thought I'd throw it in anyway, for those Aries girls who think they are emotionally mature enough to cool it with this man. It's really the only way with Libra. Fairness, logic, and reason. No skyrockets. They disturb his sense of harmony and topple his equilibrium, which is always dangerously seesawing at best. Besides, if you read the section just before this, you'll recall that Air Signs can be goaded into tornado behavior that could make even a Ram run for shelter. 

There are so many good things about this blend of Air and Fire between Aries and Libra, it's a shame for them to spend their time bickering. The typical Aries woman isn't looking for a muscle man. She wants a lover whose mental muscles have biceps. The Libra man's mind does. He'll stimulate and challenge her mentally and emotionally. All she needs to do is choose a subject, and he'll have a thousand and one things to say about it, pro and con. Since just a touch of controversy intrigues her, she'll honestly enjoy the debates they have, as long as they both play by the rules and refrain from punching each other in their complexes or tramping on one another's delicate and sensitive Achilles' heels. He'll find this an easier counsel to accept than she will. Tact and courtesy come naturally to Libra, but such consideration for the other person comes hard to Aries. 

This woman isn't basically selfish - she's thoughtless. She truly never means to be rude or unkind, and certainly not toward the man she loves. She simply doesn't think or count to ten before she speaks her mind. And her mind can be quite opinionated. Don't forget that Aries is the Sun Sign of the benevolent dictator, regarding both sexes. Benevolent dictators are genuinely concerned about people, compassionate, generous, and devoted to the cause of everyone's welfare. But they don't bother to ask the people they're so loyally championing what it is they might want. Never mind. Like the benevolent dictator, no matter what the people want, Aries will see that they get it - because Aries knows what's best for them better than they do. Warmth and arrogance make a frustrating blend, but all Fire Signs possess the combination, making their friends, relatives, and lovers love them and want to strangle them by turns. 

When someone points out to a girl Ram that she's being unreasonable and impulsive - and the pointing out is done with tact, gentleness, and affection, she'll never fail to listen, quickly see the error of her ways (she does everything quickly), and try hard to please by making sweeping changes in her original views. But when she's ordered or forced to halt along some mistaken course she's chosen, there's no way she'll give in. That's too much like retreat and Aries never, but positively never, retreats. Mars, the planet of war itself - retreat? It will never happen. Since Mars is her ruler and influences all her motivations, strategy, and behavior, you really can't expect this lady to accept dominance or harsh criticism in a docile manner. If anyone can turn the female Ram into a gentle lamb (besides Leo - and sometimes Gemini, Sag, and Aquarius), it's a Libra man. He'll gently correct her, try to make her see her mistakes in an affectionate and tender way. And nine times out of ten it will work like a charm. The tenth time he should leave well enough alone and consider himself fortunate. You can't win them all. The trouble is that Libra would like to win them all - every debate, discussion, argument, dispute, and disagreement. So would Aries. So unless one of them accepts defeat graciously at least part of the time, there's never going to be peace in this relationship - and peace is what the Libra man needs as desperately as the Aries woman he loves needs excitement. 

She would profit by trying to give him the peace he needs, because some of it would then drape its soft clouds over her too, softening her disappointments and calming her fears of rejection. He'll likewise profit by trying to give her the excitement she needs, because it will shake him from his spells of Libra lethargy and keep his Scales swinging in balance, instead of dipping one way or the other and getting stuck there. 

The Libra man's unconquerable optimism (when his Scales aren't in a down-swing mood of fretting futilely) will strike a spontaneous chord of response in the Aries woman's heart, for it matches her own bright faith in tomorrow. Her naive confidence that whatever she believes intensely enough and long enough just has to come true will strike the same kind of response in him, often moving him to tears (for he is sentimental). She'll like that in him, the sentiment. That's why she fell in love with him, because he's the combination of strength and tenderness she seeks. 

But she'll become impatient and accuse him of being lazy, when he's in one of his restful periods, not comprehending the necessity for his Venus-ruled nature to rest between long spells of energetic activity. Her own nature is different, her metabolism is so charged with vitality, she scarcely needs any rest at all - or so it will sometimes seem to him. 

His kindness and friendliness are the two qualities she loves most in him. The very same two qualities he loves most in her. They are both kind, both friendly. In a world full of people who are cool, detached, and disinterested, this is not a small thing - and it forms an amazingly strong foundation for their relationship. 

Being a 7-7 Sun Sign Pattern, very few of the disputes between the Libra man and Aries woman will happen on the way to or from the bedroom. (Especially if she buys him a king-size water mattress.) To a Libra male, drifting off to romance or dreamland within the soft folds of one of those undulating, billowy contraptions is very close to his idea of heaven. They may fight in the kitchen, the den, the front room, the back porch, the garden, the basement, attic, or garage - but when it's time to kiss goodnight, it will be time to make up for these two. The reconciliation based on the undeniable sexual attraction between them may not, however, last eternally (without that Sun-Moon harmony assistance). He's gentle, poetic, imaginative, considerate, charming, and romantic, all of which sends little tingles and shivers down her spine, from the top of her hard head to the tips of her busy toes. Their physical relationship at first seems like the tangible expression of every love song she's ever dreamed over while she was waiting for the paragon of virtue she's imaged in her heart to come to life. 

That's the trouble. Making this man come to life. The Libra approach to sex is mental, light, and airy. Libra men seek shimmering ideals and far-out experiences of erotic expression and sensual feeling, sometimes so far out, sometimes soaring so high above her head - she'll long for something solid to grab. Like two warm arms and a burning passion you can touch, as well as dream about. Ethereal love and aesthetic sexual response can leave Aries somewhat chilly. Female Rams need plenty of warm affection and fiery lovemaking to feel completely fulfilled in a physical relationship. With this man she may be left feeling a little empty. Something is missing. Exactly what she can't say, maybe the last line of the song. If she has the Moon in Libra, Gemini, Aquarius, Sagittarius, or Leo - or if his Moon Sign is Aries, Sagittarius, Leo, Gemini, or Aquarius - the missing lyric may be found. If the Moon of either was in any other astrological sign at birth, it may be elusive. But the search for it will be delightful. 

A Libra man who memorized the old nursery rhyme in school that went: "Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater - had a wife and couldn't keep her - put her in a pumpkin shell, and there he kept her very well," had better check with Mother Goose again. An Aries woman will not sit happily in a pumpkin shell while he glides gracefully around the town, charming all the girls - or while he hides in the library, polishing his Libra mind. With her, he shouldn't expect marriage to balance his Scales - unless it's a complete mental and emotional partnership. Still, if he's honest, he'll realize that's the kind of relationship he really needs himself. When all the parties are over. 

The ARIES - LIBRA Relationship

So with occasional tiffs, but on the whole rollicking, 

they drew near the Neverland; for after many moons they did 

reach it, and what is more, they had been going pretty 

straight all the time. 

The Libra people who read this chapter may claim I haven't been fair with them, since I'm an Aries myself. (They're always claiming somebody hasn't been fair with them.) Are reckless Rams envious of the marvelous tranquility of the Venus-ruled people when their Libra Scales are perfectly balanced, as they sometimes are? No. Rams are not envious of Libran tranquility, even though astrology insists they should be, the two Sun Signs being opposed to one another on the karmic wheel of Life, therefore each lacking what the other possesses. At least, the typical Arian will never openly admit that he or she is envious of Libra, however much the Rams would secretly like to imitate Libra's lovely calm and tranquil equilibrium. The derivation of the word "equilibrium" is the word "libra." Or the opposite. Either way, the word and the Sun Sign are linked. Nothing is more important to a Libran than equilibrium. They do so hate to lose it. Nonetheless, they frequently do. 

One of the times the Ram secretly envies the Libran is when an Aries person makes a swift Mars-like decision, then is forced to face the inevitable opposition Libra-type emotional trauma that always follows. Did I do right or wrong? Should I have said "yes" or "no"? - after it's already too late to change anything. Believe me, the Arian indecision after the fact is more painful than the indecision before the fact from which Librans suffer - and certainly not as constructive. 

No one can be more charming, intelligent, and optimistic than Librans who have a firm grip on their Scales. They're simply great at getting groups of people to blend harmoniously and smoothing over tensions (when they're not personally involved). Aries men and women admire and respect Libra for the Venus-type virtues they themselves lack. But Aries is also Libra's opposition Sun Sign, and so Libra must admire and respect the Mars-type virtues too. Does that sound like an order? 

One of the most noticeable differences between Aries and Libra is that the simplest Aries statement somehow comes out sounding like a demand. Even when Rams ask a question, it often seems more like they're telling you than asking you. On the other hand, (we must be careful to look at both sides, since we're dealing with the Scales) - on the other hand, when the Venus-ruled Librans ask a question or make a statement, they manage to charm you right out of your good sense, so you're left vulnerable and unable to defend yourself. 

It doesn't matter whether the Libran asks, "Why are you so consistently ignorant, dear?" - or remarks, "What you're doing reveals your complete lack of breeding" - it will evoke a musical tone reminiscent of "The Lost Chord." Those bunny-tail-soft Venus voices create images of maple syrup being poured into bowls of honey. That's why Libra can argue for hours with Aries and leave the impression it was the Ram who was being impossibly rude and wrongheaded, in comparison to Libra's nice, sensible logic. Now what is that, if it isn't unfair? No wonder Librans make fabulous lawyers, the kind who win all the verbal debates in the courtroom before the jury. If Libran lawyers can twist tough judges around their fingers and woo an indifferent panel of jurors to their side, you can imagine what happens in a battle of wits between Libra and the impulsive, quick-tempered, emotional Ram. No contest. 

Perhaps Libra will accuse the Rams of being too hasty to make a sound judgment, of rushing in rashly, with no thought of possible consequences - then sweetly remind them of the beauty of the symbol of the Lady Justice with her Scales balanced in perfect equilibrium. 

ARIES: "Yes, but she's wearing a blindfold, so how can she see right from wrong?" 

LIBRA: "The blindfold is only there to protect her from prejudice, dear." 

Then Aries may ask Libra if he (or she) has ever heard the fable about the ass that starved to death because it couldn't make up its mind which field of clover to eat first? Finally, the Libra man or woman will smile - and once the Ram is under the influence of that dazzling Venus aura, the Aries fire sputters out. It's difficult for the friendly, open Rams to resist a smile and a kind word, and they're too naive to suspect Libra of using charm as a weapon against them. Nevertheless, Libra does. 

Most of the time in this relationship, the Libran will remain cool and stable. But when the Aries aggressiveness becomes intolerable, it can have the same effect upon this normally gentle person as the accumulation of tension has in the sky - a thunderstorm. Every instinct of Libra recoils from unpleasant confrontation, but when he (or she) feels seriously threatened, a firm, sometimes even impulsive, action will be taken, if only for the purpose of regaining calm. This may seem a little confusing, but you'll have to apply Libra logic if you want to straighten it out. The best I can do is tell you that, with Libra, the end always justifies the means. On that point, at least, most Rams will agree. 

Actually, with the respect always felt for one's opposite Sun Sign, Rams will, however reluctantly, look up to the Libran judgment and privately wish they possessed it. Aries is aware that Libra is fair and logical, and a clear thinker. The Aries man or woman knows that Libra decisions are nearly always right, but a Ram can get a little jumpy, sitting around watching Libra make them. The word "decision" itself causes most Librans to break out in a rash. It doesn't bother Aries. A decision has to be made? Great. Toss a coin or a feather - or just do what you instinctively feel is right, then forget it. That's the Aries motto. Dive right in. (If there's no water in the pool, Rams scrape their chins in the cement, but they'll just stick on a Band-Aid, and be on their enthusiastic ways again.) It's not that Aries doesn't see the potential value in the nice, safe "middle-road" Libra wears down into a ditch, but a Ram would rather take a chance now and then on the path to the right or the fork to the left - and see what happens. It's exciting. And that (to look at the other side) is one of the qualities Libra admires in the opposite Sun Sign of Aries. It works both ways. 

If you want to test people's grasp of astrological knowledge, ask them which one of these two Sun Signs has the most violent temper. Before you jump to any hasty conclusions, think. Libra is Air and Aries is Fire. Fire seems more volatile and violent than Air, but Libra is the Cardinal of the three Air Signs - and Cardinal means "leader," among other things. Aries is also Cardinal, yet you must remember that in Nature air is not as innocent an element as it seems when it becomes aggressive. Have you ever watched a nice, calm, "nonviolent" tornado, cyclone, or hurricane? The quiet steam, composed of moist "air," that drifts out of the spout of a teakettle can be turned into a force powerful enough to rip up the ground for miles around. Also consider that the chief constituent of air is nitrogen. Nitrogen may be an inert gas, but it's the principle reason why explosives explode. So - which one has the most dangerous temper, Aries or Libra? You decide. (But don't ask Libra to decide, if you're in a hurry for an answer.) I didn't say which one is the noisiest when angry. I said the most dangerous. If you study this paragraph carefully, you'll see why people are puzzled when most astrology books, referring to the Venus rulership of Libra, describe all Librans as peaceful, gentle, beautiful, sweet, and calm. They are all those things - half the time. And I suppose we must confess that Aries could profit by trying to imitate some of those positive Libra personality patterns. 

These two will at times argue instinctively, but in all fairness, when a conflict between a Libran and a Ram develops, the object of the quarrel to Libra is (usually) to win and achieve eventual peace and justice. The object of most quarrels to Arians is (usually) to win and prove they're right (even when they're wrong) to satisfy the considerable Mars ego. 

An association between Aries and Libra, influenced by the 7-7 Sun Sign Pattern, is in most cases a fortunate experience for both. But if there's a negative Sun-Moon aspect between their horoscopes, there can be some fiery and windy periods of tension and conflict. With a harmonious Luminary exchange, Libra will provide a rich atmosphere of freedom of thought and action that will richly nourish the self-confidence of the Rams. The typical Libran will usually treat Aries with gentleness, seldom with tyranny or harsh words - and this is an attitude designed to bring out the very best in the Mars nature, to encourage the finest qualities of the Ram to flower. Instead of trying to force Aries into any particular pattern of behavior, Libra will more often recognize the Arian individuality and respect it. 

Under the natural instinct to imitate the opposite Sun Sign, a Ram will frequently discover that a relationship with a Libran friend, relative, business associate, lover, or mate leaves him (or her) with the Mars courage and intense drive intact, but softened into a more tolerant and balanced Venus pattern. Conversely, the Libran man, woman, or child will respond to the Arian friend, relative, business associate, lover, or mate by finding his (or her) indecision gradually turning into a firmer purpose, inspired by the Aries ambition into higher achievement, on both a personal and a public level. As with all 7-7 vibrations, this combination works best when it's composed of two members of the opposite sex. With a Libran and a Ram of the same sex, a recurring sense of envy, resentment, and competition will often trouble the relationship (unless the Suns, Moons, and Ascendents of each are in friendly aspect in the two nativities). 

The Ram will have to try to understand the Libra's very real need to conserve his or her energy and not waste it unnecessarily, as Aries is often driven to do with Mars energy. It's Libra's way of maintaining physical and emotional poise - not laziness. When the Ram sincerely tries to see both sides of any disagreement between them and makes a genuine effort to sympathize with the Libran Venus nature, the Libra man or woman will return the favor with much affection and cheerful encouragement, which will considerably lift the Aries spirit. Librans would much rather be happy and pleasant than cranky and argumentative, if Aries will only play fair with them. 

Someone once remarked that Librans are the positive, living proof of reincarnation, because nobody could become that impossible in just one lifetime. Present a Libran with this theory, and the reply will be, "Oh, I've heard that about Aries people, but not Libra. Isn't Libra symbolized by the Scales of Justice and Truth? I don't see anything "impossible" in trying to be reasonable. On the other hand, Aries is a most unreasonable sign, and I think ...." A smart Ram, at that point, will offer the Libra man or woman a slice of cheese cake. He (or she) will dimple, all smiles and sweetness again (since Librans love sweets), and the argument will be over. It's just as well, the Ram couldn't have won it anyway. Besides, losing an argument with Libra is usually beneficial in the long run, because the Venus judgment is nearly always right. By the time it's so endlessly weighed and measured and balanced - and discussed and debated - it certainly ought to be. 

ARIES Man - VIRGO Woman

ARIES Man - VIRGO Woman

"Oh, say you're pleased," cried Nibs 

He was a lovely boy, clad in skeleton leaves and the juices 

that ooze out of trees; but the most entrancing thing about 

him was that he had all his first teeth. When he saw that 

she was a grown-up, he gnashed the little pearls at her. 

It's sad, but often true. An Aries man will at some time in his relationship with a Virgo woman feel the need to prove to her that his ideas and ideals are sensible, that he is emotionally mature - and in general, he will try to arouse her enthusiasm for his plans, his ambitions, and his feelings. 

It's not that she isn't pleased, but her response, if she's a typical Virgin, may leave him with a vague sense that she somehow disapproves of what he's been trying to tell her. She probably does. She may wholeheartedly support most of what he's projecting and imagining, but there will nearly always be some small portion of his narrative she feels is off-center, or not well enough thought out and constructed. Virgos are like that. They spot the weak links in the chain and warn you about them before the chain breaks. We all really ought to be grateful to them for this neat habit they have of pointing out flaws before it's too late, so the bottom line and the end result of every venture will be more perfectly successful. Most people are properly grateful for Virgo's ability to bring calm order out of chaotic disorder. Not the Ram. He'll fiercely resent her lack of total commitment to his causes, his emotions, his outrages, his dreams, and his superiority. After a time, he may angrily accuse her of having no sensitivity and no imagination. 

He's very wrong. This girl possesses a lovely, sensitive imagination. Other children may eat "Chicken and Stars" soup for years without a single comment, but when she was a little girl, she would always delightedly exclaim (quietly, shyly, to herself, when no one could hear) "Oh, just see the little stars floating in my soup!" When someone gave her ginger ale in a cut-glass goblet one morning, and it caught the sunlight, she cried out (within) "Oh, how perfectly marvelous! I have a rainbow in my ginger bubbles!" 

Just because she whispered these marvels only to her secret make-believe best friend - and seldom or never exclaimed them aloud, she grew up with everyone around her thinking she was terribly prosaic and unimaginative - because she didn't flaunt her brilliant mind and private thoughts. Then he came along, the handsome, dashing Ram, to make her feel she was a very special person. It warmed her cool Virgin heart, and made her more sure of herself than she had ever been before. Now here he is, like all the others, accusing her of having no imagination. Insensitive? Perhaps he's the one who's insensitive. 

This woman's inner world may not be peopled with imaginary faerie creatures every single moment of the day. Nevertheless, it's a beautiful land of wonder, because she sees loveliness in the small and ordinary things. Once the Aries man who cherishes her truly comprehends this - stops yelling at her and putting her down - he can persuade her to open the locked trunk of her wistful yearnings and secret fancies and expose them to the warm sunbeams of loving affection - encourage her to bring her fears out into the fresh air, instead of holding hurt inside, where it may grow into migraine headaches and all manner of aches and pains and physical ills. Yes, she will learn much of value from him. 

He can learn a lot from her too. Like thoughtful consideration for others the peace and happiness of serving (instead of being served). This she demonstrates nearly every day they're together. Yet he seldom notices. He doesn't see her gentle smile when he silently wishes for a magic elf to help him with something he's doing physically or some problem he's pondering mentally. She glides into the confusion so softly, he's hardly aware of her presence and helps to make things come out right, even without being asked. Also without expecting to be praised. She would glow under his gratitude, but she won't demand it of him. She's only doing what comes naturally to Virgo when she's helping, so praise is not her aim, since ego and self-aggrandizement are not her motives. Still, it wouldn't hurt him to notice - and perhaps say "thank you, darling" now and then. He might even say "thank you for loving me"... because the pure love of a Virgo woman is a priceless gift, never given casually. 

A Virgo woman is so nice to come home to when she likes herself, is being herself - and allowing the Ram she loves to be himself. If she's a typical Virgin, she's unobtrusive (unobtrusive compared to Aries!), yet bright and pleasant, a joy to be around. She's quiet and courteous and she needs lots of affection (for which she'll never ask, any more than she asks for gratitude). She's sometimes critical, yes, but ordinarily she's at least polite while she's hair-splitting and nitpicking. 

The Aries man who loves this intelligent feminine creature might comfort her when she's blue and discouraged over some small mistake she's made (Virgos tend strongly toward self-chastisement) by reminding her that even the gentle Nazarene momentarily made the mistake of losing his wonted "perfect" control when he lashed the money changers in the temple. Then too, there are the "lost years," during which the humble carpenter isn't mentioned in the scriptures (quite a number of them, as a matter of fact). The Ram might tell his worried Virgo lady it's probably that, during those "lost years," Jesus more than once nailed the wrong boards together in the carpentry shop of his father, Joseph miscalculated his taxes, which were due to be paid to Caesar's Internal Revenue (or didn't make it to Bethlehem in time to pay them on the deadline date), ripped his robe on a sharp rock stubbed his toe ... was briefly cranky with Mary Magdalene .... and committed who knows how many other miscellaneous minor goofs? Thanks to the uptight censors of the scriptures, no one does. But one can make a spiritually educated guess. And who is she, the Ram can then ask her, to aspire to a more flawless record of human behavior than that of such a simple, humble man as Jesus of Nazareth? 

It may help to enlighten the Virgo woman to how unnecessary most of her worries about her failures really are. And help her to see that perfection is not the requirement for self-acceptance she so often believes it to be. 

There's frequently a misty enchantment inherent in the physical love between the Aries man and the Virgo woman. These two are rather likely to be among the few people still left who are still sexually unpolluted by the explicit sex being flaunted in everyone's faces, whether they like it or not. The Ram is a confirmed idealist (and a super-jealous one besides), whereas the female Virgin is normally turned off by sexual or any other kind of vulgarity and cheapness. She also would prefer him not to leave the catsup bottle on the dining-room table. Discrimination flashes its sparkles into many facets of human existence, from sex to catsup bottles to messy closets and untidy drawers - not to mention sloppy thinking and a dull intellect. Her own thinking is never sloppy, her own intellect never dull. 

Their lovemaking will reflect their mutual idealism and subconscious search for purity and innocence. This doesn't mean the physical aspect of love between them will lack passion. The male Ram, ruled as he is by Mars, is passion personified. Yet, he's also touchingly affectionate, usually mindful of the small things related to sexual unity - and she will respond to this quality in him with genuine joy. But she must be careful not to criticize his romantic techniques or allow her innate coolness of approach to make ashes of the flaming sort of sexual expression he offers her so trustingly. Conversely, he must be careful not to offend her sense of delicacy by always making sure that tenderness and gentleness are a part of their union. It would also help if he didn't pout or feel so wounded those times when she'd rather demonstrate her love for him in ways other than physical. The vitality of his sexual stamina may often exceed hers - and when it does, he should remind himself that patience is a virtue which brings its own reward - in addition to the reward of her return to being a warm, loving woman. 

He must simply give her time to rest awhile and refresh her desires. Also, he should know that her enthusiasm for making love will always be somewhat diluted in direct ratio to the vexing worries and problems she's encountered throughout the hours preceding his need that she surrender herself to him. Even at best, Virgos never surrender their whole selves to love. Aries men do. And this is a basic difference between them which will need to be handled with care. 

Despite their natural affinity in matters romantic, these two could allow their romance to gradually take the form of a less emotionally demanding mutual mental respect. There's certainly nothing wrong with mutual mental respect, but it needs a few more brilliant facets to set it off - like mutual emotional involvement and vibrancy. Still, rarely is even a romantically frustrated Virgo or Arian unfaithful. Not without monumental cause. It's equally rare, if they're typical of their Sun Signs, for either to leave or desert the other, even under extreme provocation - once they've committed themselves to devotion. For to Virgo, devotion is first analyzed, then defined as more responsibility than sentiment. Consequently, when a Virgo decides to desert such a "responsibility," you can be sure the decision to "cut out" was motivated by personal injury of such immeasurable depth it decreed either a final solution of escape or actual mental breakdown. Virgos have little or no immunity to long-continued mental and emotional pressures. 

The Aries man is reluctant to admit he's been wrong about a relationship for the exact opposite reason than that of Virgo. He keeps trying, not because of "responsibility," as she does, but because of "sentiment." It's difficult for the Ram to imagine he could have been mistaken about love, once he's believed in it with all his heart. This man puts all of himself into every venture, dedicates himself with fiery intent to every challenge - and love is no different from the rest. Could Romeo ever stop loving Juliet, or Juliet ever grow tired of Romeo? Of course not. That's more or less the way he sees it. He forgets that both these medieval lovers died before they were twenty, and had they lived, they would probably have experienced their share of misunderstandings and disagreements, being only human. Strangely, he's as much a perfectionist about love as his Virgo woman is about everything but love. 

It's as though she expected love to have flaws, therefore isn't terribly surprised when the flaws appear. It's only the other areas of life where she's repeatedly disillusioned to find things less than flawless. With him it's just the opposite. Life's major disappointments he can shrug off, but of "love" he demands perfection. Somewhere in between their oddly transposed views, these two should be able to find a basis for understanding each other. 

When serious trouble arises in this relationship, the tie is usually severed by the slashing scissors of unbearable outside pressures of one kind or another, not by a decline of their love. Sometimes it's her near fanatical obsession with the obligations of a career or her duties in the home. Sometimes it's his fierce ambition and single-minded purpose that causes him to place her last - after his great goal in life - his crusade for self-identification. Then she may feel an irresistible compulsion to interfere by criticizing his attitudes - either privately or publicly. This first frustrates, then humiliates, and finally angers him into a Mars-like rage of resentment, which in turn freezes her desire to help him into icy detachment and an almost smug satisfaction at his misery. Then something will have to give - fast! Otherwise, their mutual need for reciprocated affection from each other will soon become secondary to their mutual need for self-respect - and they'll part, each to seek alone the peace of mind they couldn't find together. 

That's the dark side. The bright side is that this man and woman can mend the silver cord that links them together each time it breaks - with the magical healing power of love. But only when he defines love as unselfishness and an awareness of her needs - only when she defines love as spontaneous trust and enthusiasm for his dreams. Once these two get their definitions straight, their love can last and the tiny cracks they mended with mutual consideration won't even show. Unless the Virgin keeps inspecting it with a magnifying glass - or the Ram impulsively, carelessly shatters it again. Love is like a precious work of art, fragile and delicate ... much lovelier and far more valuable when it's weathered the years. 

ARIES Woman - VIRGO Man

 

He was so much the humblest of them, indeed he was the only humble one, that Wendy was specially gentle with him.

When anyone describes an Aries girl as pushy, bossy, emotional, impulsive, impractical, and impossibly immature, the Virgo man who has loved her will nearly always disagree. He didn't find her to be any of those things. 

To him, she was a lot of woman - perhaps too much woman for him to handle - but he remembers her as direct and honest, fresh and innocent. "She was generous with her time and money," he'll say. "She shared my idealism about love, taught me many things, and treated me gently and kindly. She may have been a little hurt or jealous occasionally, but she never created any really violent scenes. She was always willing to talk it over with me - to listen to reason. And when we made up after a minor quarrel, she made me believe in happiness all over again, like the very first time. She was gentle, affectionate - and eternally young." 

When he finishes that nostalgic speech, his companion will probably ask, "Are you sure she was an Aries?" 

Yes, she was an Aries, ruled by Mars, the planet of war and aggressive action. But an Aries woman surprisingly often will show her softer side, her hidden femininity, and her deep latent capacity for unselfish love to a Virgo. When she finds a man who's kind and considerate, a man who admires her courage and her bright mind, who seldom competes with her, who teaches her tenderly, sympathizes with her faults, and has faith in her dreams - she trusts him with her whole heart. Her hidden Aries insecurities and secret fears of inadequacy melt away, and with them, the need to assert herself forcefully, in the mistaken belief that to conquer is to win - in love, as in war. The necessity for combat disappears when the total love she seeks so desperately is given to her as a gift, purely and completely, as Virgo love is always given, with no strings attached. 

Then why didn't it last? Virgo's instinctive fear of matrimony. Since the Aries woman is unable to see patience as a virtue and expects all her wishes to come true instantly, the second she says "abracadabra," she may lose heart (perhaps too soon), run away in tears, and eventually convince herself it was only a lovely friendship. Strangely enough, that's just what a broken love affair between these two frequently becomes after the scars have healed. Thanks to Virgo's inbred courtesy and gallantry, there are fewer bitter memories than those which usually linger after a shattered romance between other Sun Signs. 

Still, sometimes love does last forever between Aries and Virgo, and when it does, Life can be very beautiful. There will be a few shadows scattered throughout the sunlight, however, and they'll have to be faced realistically, not emotionally. He's willing to face anything realistically, without self-deception, but she may need some help. (In fact, she may need a lot of help.) But if she should succeed, she deserves more credit than he does. A Virgo man finds it easy to analyze a situation, spot the flaws, reach a compromise, and clear away the confusion. He really doesn't deserve much praise for doing what is so instinctive, what comes so naturally to him. The Aries girl's natural reaction to a problem is to first slam it with a hammer, then butt against it with those Ram horns, hoping to demolish it. If that doesn't work, she's ready to sit down and discuss the pros and cons of it, but the pros may be all on her side - the cons on his. Therefore, if she can learn to face a misunderstanding with a cool temper and a rational mind, she deserves the kind of appreciation reserved for those who accomplish the nearly impossible. 

All those memories of the girl Ram that the Virgo man we discussed before still retains in his neat mind were formed when their love was new. If the affair had lasted longer or developed into marriage, she may have seemed to him a trifle less like an angel. He might also have seemed to her a few inches shorter than a saint. Most of the squabbles between Aries and Virgo will blow hot and cold over his urge to criticize her. If he's truly analytical, he'll soon realize that, with her, he's safer when the wind blows hot than when it blows cold. As I've counseled repeatedly, there's more to fear from Aries ice than from Aries fire. The latter soon burns itself out. The former can shock the astrological novice, when the Aries woman stops crying "wolf and cries "good-bye." Once she's gone she's not likely to look over her shoulder to yesterday. The freedom of today may be far more exciting to her than the fast-fading recollection of past heartache. It has been said that Rams never learn from burning themselves on a hot stove. They're always ready to touch it again. Perhaps. But not necessarily the same stove. That's worth remembering. 

Back to the criticism. True, he has secret ways of convincing her that his criticisms don't mean she isn't loved. But loved or not, she won't be happy when the list of her shortcomings is longer than the list of her talents and virtues. If he wants a tranquil relationship with this woman, he'll learn to appreciate her taste and cleanliness in creating an attractive home, and refrain from peeking under the sink to see if she's polished the drain on the garbage disposal - or poking into the closet to see if she's scrubbed the shelves. She probably hasn't. Someone else can do all that. Like him. Or a maid. 

She could also have a habit of spend now - pay later - which may bring on periodic spells of Virgo nervousness. Pouting in the corner, nagging, or hiding the credit cards won't work with Aries. The best solution is to let her get a job and squander her own money. 

The combination of Aries and Virgo is a 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern. Among other things, this means that devotion, service, and working together will always be part of their relationship. It also means something which may come as a surprise to those who don't understand astrology - a strangely compelling sexual attraction. She represents sexual mystery to him. He represents to her the kind of sexual relationship she can trust. Somehow, despite the basic differences in their natures, these two may enjoy a rare compatibility of physical desire and expression. Perhaps it's born of the essential innocence and purity of intent the symbolic Infant and the symbolic Virgin bring, in an esoteric sense, to their lovemaking. Or it may be their mutual belief that sexual union is the ultimate blending of a man and woman's deepest yearnings, bringing their bodies, minds, and souls together in a singing unison of purpose and mutual tenderness. It could be this woman's directness, the simplicity of her approach to intimacy, that appeals to the Virgo man's innate honesty - or his unselfish consideration of her needs that touches her so tenderly - and the fact that his latent passion can be aroused only with someone who joins him in the desire to raise physical love to a higher level than a casual erotic encounter or a brief pleasure. 

Whatever the reason, the sexual relationship between them is usually a strong force, often resulting in the kind of emotional peace and physical fulfillment that makes it easier for them to tolerate the differences and tensions in other areas of their togetherness. With Aries and Virgo, sex is a renewal of hope and rededication to each other. In most Aries-Virgo unions, the Virgo man will feel that the Aries female is all the woman he'll ever want or need. The enthusiasm of her spontaneous passion nearly always deepens his basic earthy instincts. But she may sometimes feel that he's not spontaneous or involved enough in passion, and she may lie awake beside him on more than one night, wondering to herself if this is all there is to love. Somehow, she hoped it would be more like her daydreams, more stormy and wild and abandoned. She adores his gentleness and consideration, but she may wish occasionally he'd make her feel really truly conquered and overpowered - like Heathcliffe and Cathy on the moors. 

The girl Ram must comprehend that the Virgo man she loves is frequently driven, by the combined forces of his foster ruler Mercury and his true, as yet undiscovered, ruling planet Vulcan, to commit himself to the mental gymnastics of the moment - and pursue a thought to its conclusion. When she accuses him of neglecting her at these times, he won't understand. His busy mind has been busy meditating on amoebas, splitting and popping into the air as they reproduce themselves. At a time like that, to be pulled back to the reality of manwoman love can annoy him. She'll resent his detachment, and her instinctive urge to employ the fiery Mars method of demanding that he pay attention to her can create some unpleasant scenes between them. He'll intensely dislike being boxed in by her insistence on direct answers. Especially when he's immersed in one of his frequent spells of deep-blue depression and futility. 

At these times, the only way to handle him is to pretend she doesn't even notice his gloom and sadness. She should make a conscious effort to remain cheerful herself, totally curb her own sensitivity to neglect - and concentrate all her concern and sympathy toward him, not herself. She should suggest happy things for the two of them to do ... and talk about positive plans for the future. But quietly and sparingly - not in a running streak of conversation, which will only drive him deeper into mental seclusion. He doesn't need chattering when he's worried and won't tell her what it is that's troubling him. He needs to know she's there, that's all... that she's somewhere near, singing or humming ... confidently going about her business in the background. It gives him a feeling of security. 

Even if he turns a deaf ear toward her suggestions to go somewhere and refuses to budge under her gentle urging to change the scene, he'll gradually come around if she doesn't press him. Once is enough for any suggestion. If he doesn't pick up on it... wait for a while. The one thing he doesn't need during these Virgo worry sessions is the third degree ... or the added burden of seeing the woman he loves in tears because his silence and detachment have caused her to feel neglected, and therefore sorry for herself. Self-pity is the very worst thing the girl Ram can allow herself to indulge in when her Virgo man has temporarily retreated from her, mentally and emotionally. Patience, gentleness, tenderness, and just being there if he should need her ... these are the ingredients of the subtle alchemy guaranteed to bring the twinkling stars back to shine again in his clear, calm Virgo eyes. 

She should stop finding fault with him (Aries is quick to imitate, and may pick up the Virgo critical syndrome after a time) and instead count her blessings. This man will seldom interfere with her freedom by imposing unnecessary restraints and restrictions on her activities. (This is wise of him, because she'd do her own thing anyway, through sheer resentment at being told how to behave, where to go, and what time to return.) But there's no denying that the sometimes sharp and satirical words of the Virgo male can deeply wound this woman in the sensitive area of her self-confidence. Also, he may not be as demonstrative as she'd like him to be - not in relation to their sexual intimacy, but in their day-to-day communication and contact. 

Demonstrative affection does not flow easily with Virgo and may have to be deliberately cultivated if he wants to keep her, because the tangible expressions of devotion (the small touching things, such as bear hugs, a kiss on the cheek, a meaningful wink across the room, or an unexpected tight handclasp) are a deepseated need within her. If these constant reassurances of love are missing from their relationship, her belligerence and defiance will grow in direct proportion to the degree of her emotional starvation. 

The Aries girl is gregarious, affectionate, and demonstrative. It hurts and worries her when the man she loves makes it clear he'd rather be busy doing other things without her now and then. But he needs many more moments alone than most other men, for without them, his Virgo crankiness, nervousness, and irritability can increase. Although it won't be easy for the girl Ram to really understand her Virgo man's frequent need for privacy and solitude, she can comfort herself with the thought that this man is far less likely than any other Sun Sign to hurt her by flirting with another woman when he's not with her. Like Aries, Virgo usually falls in love for keeps. Yes, I know love that lasts forever is rare enough to be a miracle. But if you expect a miracle, you'll find it every time.

The ARIES - VIRGO Relationship

Indeed they were constantly bumping... if they saw a 

cloud in front of them, the more they tried to avoid it, the 

more certainly did they bump into it. 

Aries likes to generalize, hates to bother with details, and is bored by meticulous analysis. Virgo is meticulous, likes to analyze details, and abhors generalities. That gives you some idea of the distance between these two Sun Signs to begin with - and now that we've begun, here are a few more. 

Rams initiate all their actions from pure feeling - they of their differences.  trust their emotions and are skeptical of undue practicality. Virgos are practical, they trust their mentality, and are skeptical of pure feelings and emotions. When Aries people are upset, they'll usually shout it from the rooftops and open up their grievances to air them out. When Virgos are upset, they keep it buried inside and shut up their grievances to gather the rust of resentment. Rams are careless of their physical health, yet they're seldom chronically ill. Virgos are extremely careful of their physical health, yet they frequently complain of assorted symptoms of illness. And that's only a partial list of their differences. 

Both of them are usually quick to help others, although their motivations are somewhat different. Arians do it because it makes them feel good to be the cause of happiness, since it proves to them that they can pull off a minor miracle anytime the occasion arises. Virgos do it because it gives a Virgin the nervous twidgets to stand by and see confusion adding up to chaos, when a little clear thinking would, in their practical opinion, untangle all the snarls. It's instinctive for a Virgo to step in, take a nip and tuck here and there, then go on his or her way without either waiting for or desiring any thanks. Aries won't wait around too long for thanks either, but you'd better believe the Ram desires it. Ifit isn't forthcoming, Aries will be both hurt and angry, unlike Virgo, who doesn't really expect too much of people anyway, and is therefore capable of shrugging off ingratitude by chalking it up as just another one of the many imperfections of human nature. 

It's true that both of them lean toward purity of purpose. Each wistfully longs for the beauty of the spirit and seeks a shining ideal. Aries and Virgo ride together on a mutual search for truth and loveliness, but when their snow-white steeds reach a fork in the road, they take off in different directions. The Rams blindly and instinctively believe they'll find what they're looking for, despite all disappointments and the apparent impossibility of success. Virgos have little or no hope of ever actually discovering the Holy Grail, and even if they did, you can be sure they would find a chip in it.

Still, regardless of all these split-offs in their personality patterns, the Ram and the Virgin, when their paths cross, can find a strange comfort in their relationship. If it's business, admiration and respect - and a mutual desire to help one another - will nearly always result from the association. If it's friendship, it will probably take a business twist somewhere along the way. In the family circle, there's also much warm satisfaction possible through this blending of the two divergent natures, influenced by the 6-8 Sun Sign Pattern vibration. 

Aries and Virgo often confide things in each other they would never tell anyone else. They seem to sense that the mutual trust implied by intimate confession won't be violated - and it seldom is, though the Ram may find it hard to conceive of how the situation described by Virgo could ever have developed, considering his or her own outlook. Likewise, the Virgin will sincerely sympathize with the Ram's experiences, even while privately failing to comprehend why they were ever permitted to occur. 

Yet, no matter how close Aries and Virgo may be, Aries will feel deeply Virgo's frown of displeasure when he (or she) is late for an appointment, goofs off, or becomes careless and irresponsible. It's never as easy for the Ram to enjoy work as it is for the Virgin. What Aries views as harmless procrastination, Virgo interprets as an almost sinful waste of valuable time. Of course, after office, study, or family obligations are properly attended to (all of which may take endless time and attention), when there are no guilty twinges because everything is nicely snuggled away in its own cubbyhole - the Virgins often lead rather interesting and, in rare cases, even shockingly unorthodox private lives, when they lose those compulsive worries. 

Sooner or later, after these two have spent a reasonable amount of time together, the Rams will be sure to remind Virgo of his or her inclination toward unnecessary worry and receive a reply like, "What compulsive worries? I don't allow things to bother me to excess." Whereupon Aries is likely to retort, "Oh, no? How about the morning last week when you missed your daily shower because you couldn't find the Ivory Soap, and you won't use any other kind spilled a drop of ink on your shoe, and found a fly in your soup at lunch? You had a splitting headache and nervous indigestion for days afterward." 

The Virgo rejoinder probably will be, "That is somewhat exaggerated and incorrect. The indigestion lasted only three hours and forty-five minutes, and it was caused by that dreadful, greasy soup I ate, not by my nerves. The headache lasted sixty-five minutes - not several days - and was the result of my not getting enough sleep the night before, not from compulsive worries. I missed my shower, not because I couldn't find the particular bar of soap I always use, but because I was late for an appointment. As for the ink, naturally I was a little upset about ruining a twenty-two-dollar pair of shoes I've only worn for a couple of years. I can't afford to be as casual about money as you are." 

That last remark is Virgo's tactful way of accusing Aries of being extravagant. Virgins are careful to maintain scrupulous politeness when they're annoyed, so their irritability is softened by their typical courtesy. 

Because Virgos are so analytical and fond of clarity, Aries people are inclined to look on them as picky and cold. Far from being cold, however, Virgos are the most inwardly sentimental of all the Sun Signs. (The important word in that sentence is "inwardly." It causes all the misunderstandings.) Their very discrimination itself implies high ideals for things and people to live up to, and when they don't - well, anyone would be cranky once in a while, from being so constantly disillusioned. Virgos are frequently nervous around Aries people because the Virgins dislike being openly firm - and dealing with a Ram requires, at times, being openly firm. The Arian impulsiveness can cause Virgo to feel secretly inadequate because of being helpless to change a situation, so they'll sometimes try to cover the feeling with a judgmental attitude - a kind of silent disapproval. It doesn't really matter what kind it is. Any kind of disapproval will annoy Aries, even if it's only vaguely implied and not verbalized. It is, nevertheless, felt or sensed. The typical Aries man or woman isn't looking for reasonable discussions or cool, sensible Virgo remarks about right and wrong, what's proper and practical, and what is not. Rams respond beautifully to generosity of spirit in others - and quite unpleasantly to stuffiness or criticism. Aries will often rebel and struggle for identity in a close association with a Virgo because he (or she) considers calm, rational talks a cold substitution for affectionate warmth, friendliness, and an open-hearted manner. 

Yet, when there's a favorable aspect between the Sun and Moon in the charts, Aries and Virgo can grace one another with many mutual blessings. In an Aries-Virgo association where there is such a harmonious Luminary influence, the Ram may surprise himself (or herself) by following Virgo's quiet example and paying serious attention to Virgo's always well-meant and helpful advice. And the Virgins will surprise themselves too, by allowing the Rams to coax them into losing many of their inhibitions and dropping a few layers of their usually sedate behavior. All it really takes for this combination to blend smoothly is for each person to spend more time concentrating on the virtues of the other, rather than dwelling on the differences. 

The clerk in the supermarket who frowns at the cash register and crankily scolds you for not taking your place in line is probably a Virgo. But the softly smiling, mild-mannered, and bright clerk who courteously answers your questions about where the soybean patties are kept and when the fresh melons will be available, and cheerfully helps you pick up the things that spilled from your cart is probably also a Virgo. 

The customer who aggressively demands to be waited on immediately in a store, than leaves all the clothes hanging on a peg in the dressing room, after trying them on impatiently and deciding they all look dreadful - is probably an Aries. But the friendly, trusting person who will loan a stranded, out-of-town stranger ten dollars without even asking why it's needed is probably also an Aries. 

The thing of which Virgo is seldom aware is that Aries senses unerringly whether the Virgin's concern over his or her welfare stems from genuine devotion, affection, and friendliness - or merely from a dutiful obligation. And when it stems from the latter, the Ram would just as soon try to manage alone as to accept help from someone whose true sympathy and heart isn't involved in the offer, however much he (or she) may need Virgo's assistance and advice. 

As far apart as they seem to be at first glance, however, Aries and Virgo can stumble upon some happy surprises when they hike along together and take care to avoid the thistles, brambles, and thorns of disagreement. In the Ram, the Virgin can find someone really worthy of helping toward achievement, someone who will generously shower Virgo with a warmly enthusiastic and touching gratitude in return, someone who may even be able to unlock the little doors of those Virgo inhibitions and private longings. In the Virgin, the Rams can find the sincere appreciation they need - and a heart as honest and loyal as their own. Virgo can teach Aries to discover beauty in small things, to know the wisdom of waiting - to believe in the eventual success of patience. Aries can teach Virgos to discover and believe in themselves.

ARIES Man - LEO Woman

... and we return to them as their mouths close, and their 

arms fall to their sides. The pandemonium above has 

ceased almost as suddenly as it arose, passed like a fierce 

gust of wind; but they know that in the passing it has 

determined their fate. 

A Lioness is not easy to live with, and sometimes just plain impossible to handle. She can be proud, aloof, vain, self-centered and arrogant. She can also be a strong, vital, warm and generous woman, if her obvious superiority is recognized and respected. Although she never surrenders herself lightly, with an Aries man who's careful never to destroy her dignity, and who makes it clear how much he admires her, she will be unexpectedly docile. No one who knows her will believe it possible, because they've never seen her conform to anyone's wishes as willingly as she does to his. 

Astrology practically guarantees harmony and happiness to this 5-9 Sun Sign Pattern April-August relationship, especially if the aspect between their luminaries is beneficent. In this case, the affair or marriage could nearly be made in Heaven. Even when the Sun-Moon aspect in their comparative horoscopes is unfavorable, these two will tolerate each other rather well. He won't mind her extravagance as much as a man born under one of the other Sun Signs would. In fact, he may encourage it. It quite probably matches his own. Of course, Leo women don't like to admit they're extravagant. They'll tell you they are very economical, and in a way, some of them are. Leos can be level-headed and practical regarding normal expenditures, but they seem to go into a trance when it comes to luxuries, and frequently are penny-wise and pound-foolish. The Aries man is usually both penny-foolish and pound-foolish. If either of them has a thrifty Moon Sign or Ascendent, all this may not apply, but even so, sooner or later the two of them will reveal their Sun Sign essence in gestures of generosity. They both love giving and receiving gifts. 

Not too surprisingly, the Aries man who loves a Lioness will encourage her to live up to her birthright pride and dignity. A queenly attitude becomes her, he believes. (It also makes him seem like a real winner for having managed to capture her.) Although the Ram expects other females to wait on him and to exist solely for the purpose of gratifying his desires, he'll often display a softer side of his nature with this woman, be more considerate of her wishes. Perhaps he places her on a pedestal to win and keep her royal favors, but more likely the reason is that he honestly feels she deserves a bit of worship, because she's so very special... so very much like him(!). 

One of the happiest marriages I know is between a Lioness and a Ram, Rosemary and Norman. For years, he cheerfully fixed her meals, kept the house in order and coddled her lovingly to make sure she got enough rest, while she was moving smoothly through medical school, then post-graduate work, finally becoming a successful psychiatrist. The experience served to mellow his Aries "me first" nature considerably, without making a dent in his masculinity. Because Norman cherishes his beautiful Lioness, she treats him with a gentle graciousness that leaves no doubt which one is Tarzan and which one is Jane in their marriage. When she's not working, Rosemary serves his meals; when she looks at him her brown eyes sparkle with real affection, and there is in her manner the quiet sweetness of a female who is completely fulfilled as a woman. He gazes at her with open admiration, even proudly permits her to be the center of attention when they have company; yet there's always the distinct impression that he is the man of the house. 

It's not that these two don't have their share of disagreements. Psychiatrists are no more immune from occasional emotional tension than dentists are immune from a toothache. But between Fire Signs, a temporary clash of wills brings the spice of excitement.. and the much-to-be-desired lifting of spirits that comes with making up. An occasional quarrel keeps Aries and Leo from taking love for granted, which can be boring and uninspiring. These lovers have a basic need for periodic re-charging of their initial passion. 

Aries men are always driving hard toward some goal, and there's a chance the Ram may be so intent on getting where he's going he may fail to praise her enough. When a Leo woman feels she's not being properly appreciated, she becomes cold, indifferent - and even lazy. She either neglects her femininity, taking no interest in her appearance (a sad and serious warning symptom of her inner agony), or she'll turn to the opposite reaction, placing undue concentration on glamour, and openly soliciting the attentions of other men. The Aries male who will accept his woman's flirtations or an actual affair with another man has not yet been born. The merest suggestion of infidelity will produce a wild scene of jealousy. In the long run, this may be helpful, if it causes him to realize he's been neglecting to pay her the romantic homage she'll always seek as long as she lives. 

Actually, neither of these two can be said to be untouched by jealousy. Now and then, one may get the notion it might be "fun" to tease the other just a little by pretending an interest in another person. The resulting free-for-all between these two Fire Signs is usually about as "fun" as tickling an angry gorilla under the chin with a feather. 

A Leo woman needs to be told frequently how much - and why - she is loved. Then she won't be so suspicious of the time he must spend away from her. The Ram who spoils his majestic mate won't be sorry. She may be somewhat demanding, but that's not as hard to live with as her disposition when she's neglected. When this woman fancies she's being ignored, she will begin to attach unreasonable importance to trifles. The very same reaction to being ignored can be expected from the Ram. He can, with enough provocation, imaginary or real, be almost childish in his demands, downright petulant with resentment when he thinks he's not being loved or noticed enough. Experiencing ingratitude will drive him into fiery anger - and her into frozen hurt. In both of them, the desire for adulation is over-emphasized, yet still a necessity for selfrespect. When they don't find enough of it in the outside world, which they seldom do, they can give this valuable gift to each other, to make up for the lack of it elsewhere. 

Sexually, they are unusually well mated. Their mutual instinct for uninhibited passion in lovemaking is tempered with their shared need for tender affection. Although they are both lovers, in the warmest sense of the word, they are also both idealists. A gentle kiss on the cheek is as important to her, and to him, as the more erotic expressions of sexual Oneness. The Aries man possesses within his nature an abundance of both sentiment and fire, which never fails to bring an answering response from the Lioness. What they are both searching for, when it comes to physical fulfillment, is the wild abandonment of Lady Chatterley and her lover, mixed with the poetic tenderness of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning - in equal parts. The chances are much better that they'll find this rare emotional blend with each other than with most others. If anything disturbs their idyllic sexual relationship, it will be his resentment of her old flames. Old flames have a way of never dying out with a Leo woman. The coals still burn, years later, not because she wants to rekindle a discarded affair, but because she's reluctant to part with souvenirs of past worship and adoration. These memories never lose their luster for her. 

If the Ram should come across any of her old love letters, which she may save and read periodically to feed her romantic hunger, he'll be nearly as hurt and furious as if he had caught her in an actual act of infidelity. He'll probably question her about her past loves reproachfully, whether she saved the mash notes or not. Since she's sure to brag a little, perhaps even exaggerate the whole thing, he'll lose his cherished illusion that he's the only male who ever came close to conquering her - and losing that illusion can seriously harm their sexual harmony. Aries must be first (and last) in the game of love, as in every other game he plays. He also likes to be first in getting attention at parties; therefore he may not ignore any females who glance at him with admiring interest. (Rams are not selfish, just thoughtless sometimes.) What happens then? How can you ask? Remember that the Lioness wants everyone to know she's adored by the man she has allowed to love her. He would be unwise to so humiliate her before others, however innocent his intent, because this woman will not tolerate such an affront to her dignity. She may be confident enough of her own charms to be certain that she's adored by her lover or husband, but it's important to her for others to be equally aware of this. Let him peel a grape for another woman in public, and he'll see his bright, sunny and affectionate mate transformed into a clawing cat before his eyes ... or worse, into a marble statue of icy disapproval. Later, when they're alone, there will be an emotional explosion. 

But they'll make up, almost before ner tears have dried .. and there will be another reason for him to tell her how dear she is to him, and mean it - another chance for her to let him know how much she needs him - another chance for both of them to assure each other how shallow they find other people after experiencing the depth of their own kind of love and friendship. For the Ram and the Lion are graced with this most desirable of all blessings from the gods - the ability to be friends, as well as lovers. They may take turns inflicting unintentional emotional hurt, but in every other way, they trust each other more than they trust anyone else. A disagreement always brings home this happy truth to them when it's over. That's the beautiful thing about quarrels between Aries and Leo, unlike quarrels between other Sun Signs. As the bitter chill in the air when you walk through winter winds makes the coming of spring a great miracle, the misery caused by hurt pride makes being happy together after almost losing each other even sweeter than before. 

The impulsive, impetuous Ram will find a warm home in the heart of the Leo woman, and she will lionize her Aries mate. In return he'll bring to her the splendid gift of himself - all of himself - and that's something he never quite gave to anyone......until he found her.